Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Immigrants
or
Don't Fuck With The Mexicans


I'm not exactly sure if my grandmother arrived to the United States legally or illegally.

The vagueness behind her situation suggests the latter, but whatever the actual case was she did find herself in Florida cleaning some woman's house and eventually earning herself enough money to have her two daughters and single son over from the great country of Guatemala.

I emerged from betwixt my mother's legs shortly thereafter, a citizen of the United States of America, fully legal and officially a third generation latino love child.

Caliente.

I was raised in Los Angeles across the street from a bonafide crackhouse, I knew Mexican gangsters, and I attended a high school where Cinco De Mayo was a serious fucking holiday.

Having said all that, you do not want to piss off the Mexicans. You can push around gays by trying to insanely amend the constitution, you can pay women less, you can even shove the NAACP around a bit without getting your head blown off....but this immigrant thing the GOP is pushing is dangerous, and I do mean it.

Listen, the whole immigration thing is a non-issue. Here's the way it works, an immigrant comes over here and they'll take a crappy job, their second generation will have a crappy job, its the third totally legal one (me) that you have to worry about, because I'm the guy who's taking your job!

Nevertheless, California starts clamping down its borders and--as you saw with those crazy marches--people are going to get pissed off...specifically Mexicans.

I came to NY and people told me to be careful around St. Patrick's day because the Irish get crazy, the Irish can kiss my ass I'm not scared of those leprechauns...for you see I was born and raised with the Mexicans, and you don't want to mess with them.
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Notes

Perv On: Legally required pervs on Gael Garcia and Diego Luna any time I mention Mexicans.

La Queen Sucia: How Stupid are the US Media?!?!

Did I tell you to Perv on: Kevin Zegers already? Baby Jesus Do it already!
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