Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Baby Makers
You'll Pry That Bottle From Aussie Flapper Girl From Her Cold Dead Hands

Speaking of rape, here's a lovely news story making the rounds.

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

I just have one question (out of the obvious)

Do these guidelines include lesbians? Seeing as how they're lepers in this society second only to the homosexual male. Its a federal mandate that homosexual women not marry or raise a child within most states, which would directly contradict the federal guideline to keep that cervix wet and spongey enough for a child that you have no right to raise.

And I'm wondering whether my very own penis is protected under the same medical advisement. After all, you can't make a baby without a fleshy turkey baster.

Otherwise I'm all for the preservation of these soulless potential baby carrying vessels otherwise known as "the female sex." They and all of the doctors in America should do everything in their power to protect these non-existant bundles of unwanted joy.

Obstacles to preconception care include getting insurance companies to pay for visits...

Well...I could sort of see how that would be an obstacle sure.

...and putting the concept into regular use by doctors and patients. Experts acknowledge that women with no plans to get pregnant in the near future may resist preconception care.

You don't say! You mean women will keep on drinking and smoking and not be mommies? Boohoo!

The ultimate irony is that the preconception care involves not drinking alcohol...what the hell do you think causes unwanted pregnancies in the FIRST place?

I believe I'm a baby factory.

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