Friday, May 26, 2006

The Prophecy
or
The Box Office Apocalypse




Ezekiel 24:69

And lo, the Anti-Christ shall take the Kingdom of the Lord in the shape of a 22% rotten rated mediocre movie, and in its boffo box office goldmine, it shall bring forth the destruction of the disciples of Christ.

Yep there you go, the decimation of the Christian faith should be starting right about....now.

Sure everyone I know claims The Da Vinci Code is a horrible movie comparable to the Nicholas Cage vehicle National Treasure, regardless, the film is set to destroy faith and plunge the world into an unholy darkness ruled by Satan, homosexuals, and Jews.

I sympathize somewhat with The God Warriors. If someone came out and made a mainstream anti-homo spanish sadist movie I'd be feeling slightly defensive at this moment...

...the main difference, of course, is that I was born a cocksucker and these nuts think a man walked on water and came back from the dead a thousand years ago, so call me a nutjob.
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Notes

Films considered the worst ever

Monster A Go Go (1965)
the film was left incomplete, then it was purchased by Lewis, who reportedly needed a second film to release on a double bill, and who shot some additional footage. The picture consists mostly of men sitting around drinking coffee and talking; the ending consists of a long speech by the narrator informing us that 'there was no monster.' Allmovie.com calls the film a 'surreal anti-masterpiece'


I can't wait to see it!

Perv On:
Check this out a still from Peaceful Warrior, a new homoerotic movie starring Scott "Bendover" Mechlowicz and Ashton "DoMe" Holmes
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