Thursday, June 01, 2006

War
or
June Birthdays Are The Greatest Birthdays In The World


I was standing in line at our local Duane Reade in order to purchase my Caramel flavored ice cold frapuccino (Starbucks brand) when I realized why war exists.

War exists because some douchebag person ignores the main line to the cash register and saddles up next to you pretending to form a second line to an alternate cash register.

You have to have a completely different state of mind to be THAT person, because you MUST think that we're all standing in one gigantic line just loving the pleasurable act of waiting.

"It must be the anticipation!"

And she saddles up next to me first on one side when the burly man behind me shoos her away, then she settles for my other side.

Thankfully our huge-line civilization was feeling particularly peace-loving (and I got to the register before she did) but had this been some other time, she would have suffered through the 9-11 of supermarket check-out incidents.

Speaking of disasters. My birthday is tommorrow, so readers, commenters, ill-wishers and the like can all take notice! I was asked by Aussie Flapper girl what I wanted to do for my birthday (my answer was Ashley Angel).

Really now? How am I going to plan my own birthday? I'm at the age where party hats and Chucky Cheese can't compete with free drinks, gifts, and a good brunch, which is what I'll be getting--though I can certainly allow some leeway on my stance against party hats.

...and--ok ok I'm not THAT old--so a trip to Chucky Cheese would still be kitschy fun, especially if we can do some blow in the bathroom.

(The Marquis De Sade and I share the same birth date naturally)

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