Thursday, July 20, 2006

iPod Withdrawal
or
Old Folks Chattering


Everywhere I go I see them. They are prevalent in the underground (which is the UK term for the subway system, but the term "Underground" is appropriate now that the New York subway platforms are hot like a concrete uterus).

They are OLD people who stand there, sweating, and looking around waiting for a conversation.

I know social scientists and psychiatrists--and any number of other soft-science experts--have gone on about the dangers of an iPod culture in an internet age where we have less friends than we did twenty years ago...

But man, have you seen those old people out there and their inane chatter they just heap onto you? Yesterday I was stuck on a train when the old man next to me exclaimed abruptly, "we better start moving soon." I agreed with a half-smirk, then he said, "I'm afraid we might get rear-ended!"

I can see myself starring in a social-anxiety disorder commercial. Do you suffer from chronic subway conversation exhaustion? Do old people bother you?, and then I'm on the TV rubbing my neck in pain.

I know what my problem is, I lost my iPod, and therefore slowly losing my sanity. Mr. Bogs suggested I get an emergency iPod shuffle, but I'm in it for the long haul and getting a video iPod.

Two tough tit weeks outrunning environmentalists with clipboards and old people, and I'm ready for a zen mp3 player...anything!

I discovered a usable set of headphones in my backpack, and when I got to work I rammed them into my PC, plugged the phones into my ear, and like a drowning man sucking an oxygen bubble I was relieved to hear music and the Stern show once again getting filtered into my head!

Damn iPod withdrawal. Now if only I could get rid of this Coke habit.
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Notes

Dylan Klebold love letter...to a girl classmate. Well there goes your homo theory.

It just occurred to me that I have NO idea what's going on with Hezbollah and Lebanon. That's sort of troubling.

A rare zero star review from Roger Ebert (bless his soul).
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