Friday, July 14, 2006

Speaking of the French
France's Accomplishments Don't Include Snapple

Bonjour Mezzanine! Happy Bastille Day!

Ha! Forgot about it didn't you? I totally beat you to it. Hell check out Google and notice their lack of frenchy decorations.

Ah Bastille Day, celebrating the...((trails off))...of French Independance.

The French have brought us many wonderful things, Bagettes, cheap red wine in the East village, Nazi occupation, and berets. However there are many more contributions to our culture that we should be thankful for.

Ze Zidane Headbuttz!

Now with instructions

France brings us Monet!

Also we have Le FROINCE to thank for The Marquis De Sade and in turn sadism, without which all lovemaking would be a boring claptrap of Lifetime movie channel softly-lit bullshit (if time permits I will quote from Sade later today).

Without France, we would have no concept of...

the art of the menage a trois!

Le France also brings us Louis Garrel:

France! She also...wait, I can just stop at Garrel:

Daddy daddy why do I feel funny in my pants?

Now son that's just a natural part of growing into a man.