Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Blonde Bartender
or
Flirting Is Serious Business


On sunday Fly G and I went to Spirit...whatever that place is called.

Apart from the policemen on horses trotting outside making the whole scene look like it was ripped from the Lord of the Rings, nothing too unusual happened save for my encounter with my favorite bartender.

My favorite bartender is tall, has blonde shaggy hair, a perfect body he thankfully keeps under a sexy but conservative (for club standards) cut off sleeve shirt. He's got a cute face and a disarmingly shy smile.

Perfect.

At any rate I obsess over him every time we decide to go to this place, here was no exception.

Fly G: "I know what you want, you want to go visit that bartender right?" Fly G knows me too well.

We head on over and Mr. Blonde Bartender smiles, I lean in order my vodka with cranberry, with my usual overtly flirtatious smile of course. He gets my change, I leave a tip, Fly G and I hang back from the bar.

And then it happens.

While he was getting somebody else's drink, Mr. Blonde Bartender peeks at me and smiles, I look at him smiling, and then I sort of fumble thinking "my god is this happening? Is this the I wanna do you look coming from this guy?" So I nod, and his smile gets brighter.

The greatest part of this story, however, is the fact that Fly G witnessed the entire thing. He looked over just as Mr. Blonde Bartender eyed me and the PURE FORCE OF THE LOOK CAUSED HIM TO WHIPLASH!

I know you doubt me, but I'm telling you the scene was perfect.

Breakaway from getting drink. He leans over to listen to somebody else, sneaks a peek towards me without knowing I was doing the same, we lock eyes, smile, Fly G: WHIPLASH'D!

Poor Fly G nearly fell on the fucking floor caused by residual sexy-look. Fly G is never one to believe anyone could possibly get hot for me (on account of his being jewish and all) so this utterly incapacitated him.

"Damn, if you get him....you know I haven't even gotten a bartender! You'd be the first."

He ran over to his favorite bartender, some girl at the other end of the bar, and asked her about the blonde boy.

"He's married and has kids."

Wrong bitch...wrong, he shall be mine.

[btw, yes we ARE alcoholics]

I also wanted to share the following picture I downloaded illegally off the internet.



It makes me laugh every time. EVERY TIME!

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