Wednesday, October 11, 2006

You Can't Make Friendship Without Breaking A Few People
or
Anyone Else Feel Like This Sometimes, Or Is It Just Me?


When I was in grade school, aw hell, when I was kindergarten, I knew I was a loser. An ugly chubby little squirrel of a boy with buck teeth and no hope of getting laid or gaining one respectable friend.

When the whole gay thing came along that didn't help matters one fucking bit.

Flash forward a good twenty years later and here I am in New York with lots of legitimately cool friends (I say legitimately because they aren't pretend cool faux-awesome new york scenesterish, yeah we get into the best places, but we don't try hard and don't care if we're kicked out).

I got all sorts of friends, gay crazy ones with complexes, ones in the mag biz, gorgeous gals, smart boys, you name it I have it.

The kindergarten boy wouldn't recognize himself as the person that he is now.

I'm also an asshole too, I'll freely admit that. The best encapsulation of this is when I asked Aussie Flapper girl whether she thought I needed therapy, her answer: "Out of all of us you need it the least."

That's not exactly a no is it?

Before this turns especially longwinded, my point is this: As an asshole who has grown too big for his kindergarten buck tooth britches, I used to think I'd always have to have it my way. I mean, I used to think, "I've got enough friends, I don't need any more, if you don't cooperate then kiss your butt goodbye."

That causes unpleasant friction between people, between exes and between old old friends you lose touch with. I recognize that friction and it's become unpleasant, it's become rut-ish (that's right I made it up).

I bring all this up because of a newfound sense of understanding I've tried to exercise, understanding of a person's needs over their wants, and also because a person who shall remain blameless sent me an email reading "I'll be able to see you in public and not have the urge to cause you physical harm."

Well that's one less person!

I'm not saying I want to be a nicer person, but I recognize that I need to be a better one, it sounds hokey when I try to pin this all down in vague terms, so I'll paraphrase what a wise man once said.

Ahem:

"I'm the tyranny of evil men, and you...are the weak...



"But I'm trying...I'm trying reeeealll haaaarrrd to be the shepherd.
_______________________________________

Notes


Open letter to gay republicans, essentially "suck it."

How to videoblog

Inspector Gadget

One hot geek
_______________________________________

No comments: