Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Granny Porn
or
Notes On A Scandal




Andrew Simpson right? Not another word.

I recently caught Notes On A Scandal with my good pill-popping friend Fly G. There were several things about this otherwise good movie that bothered me. You see I read the original novel by Zoe Heller, and I felt inclined to air out a few of the grievances I thought she might have with the film as a fellow writer, spoilers ahead:

1) They turned the old crone into an outright raging stalker lezbo. In the novel, the elderly woman's latent lesbianism is very quiet, and I think she doesn't even know she's a lesbian. In the film she's a female Hannibal Lecter, who instead of eating brains eats pussy.

Ok so she does not lick Cate Blanchett's clit, but she does softly rub up against her several times, which wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the ending.

2) Ending: Oy mama mia. The ending turns the movie into a light thriller. Cate Blanchett FINDS THE SCANDALOUS DIARY.

Cue frantic scenes of them wrestling and Cate Blanchett telling Judi Dench's old cronie character that she's crazy for thinking she would love her! Then Cate Blanchett quietly is accepted back into her husband's house whom she left after having an illicit affair with her 15 year old student.

Zuh? Cate's young character gets vindicated but not rightfully punished for having her affair, and by the end of the movie all is right with the world and Judi Dench has moved on to her next youthful prey.

The book ending is much better meanwhile. Get this: Judi's old crone character manages to break down Cate Blanchett's character, and Cate's character stays with her after the scandal is made public.

Creepy!

Why do I care? I don't know! I was screaming this to Fly G who silently slipped an Oxycontin during my rant.

Just kidding Fly. Here's some Granny porn in honor of the movie.
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Notes

The new meme sweeping the internet...Atheism! Jesus Christ and the Kikes who killed him, I'm glad its finally happening. I deny the holy spirit, and most importantly, I deny that religious beliefs are above scrutiny.

The Original Blasphemy Challenge
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