I Am Flicka
When eventually I'm put in charge of a float for the NYC gay pride parade (lord knows how--or if I'd even like--to get those powers) I will make THE float we've all been waiting for.
The Not-Boyfriend Material Float
My family might have freaked with joy when their country of Guatemala gathered enough money to produce its own float during a particularly memorable LA New Years Day Rose parade, but that will be nothing compared to the splendor of my float.
We'll have heroin/crystal meth addicts, in-the-closet questioning bisexuals, emotionally stunted shirtless 24-year-olds, all built on a float resembling an after-hours bareback club with a giant statue of me holding a glass of wine. My statue would consist of 1,000,000 macadamia nuts.
I am, decidedly, assuredly, not boyfriend material.
I sincerely lack the glazed brain-dead look of love in my eyes, and the faux-feeling of sympathy when I see my lover is bored in a particular situation. Instead, you spend several minutes with me and you end up in some pill-popping East Village maniac's apartment who only moved in there because he seduced the old woman who used to live there.
And he wanted flapper girl and I to stay...yikes sorry, I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I know how this ends.
I'm not boyfriend material because Jase graciously invited me to his boyfriend's birthday party, and there were various couples around me being lovey-dovey and sweet, and I was busy strolling out with a couple of good-time people.
We smoked pot in Times Square, then went back to the bar!
I'm not boyfriend material, but I am most decidedly a wild runaway horse not unlike Flicka, just waiting for that little girl to tame me, though in my case I'd replace the little girl with a very tall blonde Australian or the boy from Los Angeles who fronts a band and introduced me to my new favorite shot...
Ah yes, I am Flicka, or at the very least hung like him. Might as well start that rumor now huh?
BTW Here's a picture of a Crocodile's penis for you.
I'd just like to take the time to show my appreciation to The Pretty Boys Club whose freakish readers have been hitting this blog harder than frat boys on a passed out black coke whore!
Check out Qr Blog I'm spreadin' like a disease an' shit.
Oh and my new favorite shot that I reference is the Fernet-Branca, very popular in San Fran and only just now getting good in NY. I HIGHLY recommend you try it, it is like Absinthe's more polite little brother. Hitler allegedly slurped it up before speeches, just throwin' that out there.
Saturday, January 20, 2007