Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Pre-Valentines Day Jitters
or
Questioning Straight Boys Fly Through Life Like Dead Autumn Leaves In The Afternoon Wind


Two souls have left the slums of my life recently.

Let's hear it for the tentative withdrawal of Mr. Straight Boy bartender who wasn't at my regular haunt. My text messages went unanswered, though I'll have a good reason to call him when it comes time to have him be my cover boy for the ragazine.

I would make out with him in front of his alleged son, its that bad!

Second and more painfully, let us say goodbye to the questioning straight blonde British boy. He of the phone call that said "I'm more interested in seeing you mate" when I offered him some of my gal pal's poon, and he who made out with me during a romp at Lit bar.

Actually GOODBYE is a strong word in that case, we've just missed seeing each other for several weekends, and it gets frustrating being the one to initiate the conversation anew. I'm the conversation starter alpha male between the two of us and it gets tiring!

I mean, really, why are blonde people SO stupid? Could he not figure out that the only reason I was talking to him was to do him? Let's drop all pretenses here, guys only talk and converse for one of two reasons.

-They're bored.

-They want to do you.

Our jolly old friend from liverpool might have had a charming accent, but I was a little bit more focused on his enormous height and huge lips.

At any rate, I don't want to become THAT guy...you know, the guy who finds your myspace and Flickr pages and masturbates to all of your shirtless pictures then reverse phone searches for your address on the yellow pages and looks at you through your window in your apartment in Brooklyn which you share with two other people who don't love you as much as much as I can possibly love you.
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Notes

Paris sings about kikes/niggers while dancing with what appears to be a hot fag! Oh Paris, will wonders ever cease?

In her defense, who hasn't changed the words to "We Are Family" into racist lyrics?

"We are Ginny Wops!"
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