Monday, January 29, 2007

Shitty Art Man's Struggle With His Self-Identity Post-911
Art Terrorism Is A Victimless Crime: The Return

I am very proud to say that I wisely avoided Yoko Ono's movable New York performance piece! I am, of course, referring to the "last car of the subway train is smothered in shit" art installation that is currently being held on the last car of the Uptown V train in Manhattan and Queens.

This time I waited patiently for the V train and instinctively entered the second car. A very nice couple and several other people entered the last car, and a stop later, I saw that same couple and a bunch of other people run into my second car.

A black man was running around so I turned down my iPod music and listened to him chortle on about how panicked he was when he saw the seats covered in human excrement. The couple and all the other people who experienced this lovely...experience were wearing smiles displaying a strange mixture of relief, awkwardness, and hilarity.

In other words, they were sporting shit-eating grins.

As I reached my exit, I couldn't help but peek into the last car. Sure enough I saw people shoved near the front of the train pretending they didn't smell anything, the actual turds near the back, and a very strange looking older lady standing in the middle of the train looking out at the window.

The lines on the woman's frowning face silently said it all:

"Fuck you world, just...fuck you!"

Notes: The Drug Edition

A real commercial from the 80's: Synthetic Coke, works every time!

One of my favorite Sealab Episodes: Stimutacs!

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