Monday, March 12, 2007

Frank Miller's 300 Throbbing Persian Headaches
This Is Madness!

Here's the movie Mel Gibson would make if his balls were bigger. I've yet to achieve a sturdier erection watching naked men impale each other with spears (the last movie was, strangely enough, the Passion Of The Christ).

I have it on good faith that Frank Miller, the writer of the 300 comic book, is a borderline sociopath. Just see Sin City, or read the Dark Knight returns (the gritty batman used in Batman Begins) to get a taste of how out of his mind he is. Nevertheless, I think Miller plays the role of "crafty old man" fairly well. What appear to be pro-war super-macho plotlines are actually overly ironic borderline gay-loving stories full of wink wink innuendo.

He speaks to the inner boy in everyone really, and he always does so in a clever fashion. I heard one of his upcoming projects is Batman fighting Bin Laden, inspired by the over-the-top racist cartoons of the WW2 era, its so silly you can't help but love it.

300 is, first and foremost, eye-candy. It's totally style over any real substance. Its a mistake to read anything of importance into this piece because its a film wanting so badly just to give you a really good non-remorseful blowjob. Look, we got your war and gore for the boys, the importance of freedom and war for conservatives, pro-feminism for liberals, tits for straights, ass-shots and tons and tons of hot male bodies for the queers, Leonidas for chicks, the young Astinos for me...

And, if you get off on being the victim of propaganda, you can certainly find enough of a specter to get you off here, though really guys, its just a giant fun video game (and the gayest macho movie I've ever seen).

Its a great party movie, I suggest you watch it if you're into gore, and if you're into me then you're into gore.

The real raison d'etre for this movie is to test out director Zack Snyder's worth at directing the upcoming Watchmen film that has landed at his feet.

The Watchmen was written by Alan Moore, he is the Amadeus to Frank Miller's Salieri. The Watchmen could turn out to either be the greatest comic-to-film movie thus far, or it could look like this scary piece of shit.

This on youtube just gave me shivers. Page 5 of the Watchmen comic, short but really stylized, I'm expecting the film proper to be a million more bucks than that. Read the graphic novel, it won the Hugo for chrissakes.


So Pace the chairman of the join chiefs of staff is like Homosexuality is immoral, and I'm like, "does that mean its the military's first job to be our moral compass?" He was like, "I just don't think its right for anyone if we as a nation condone any immorality." So now the military will be directly recruiting from Boy Scouts and Missionaries, isn't that awesome!?

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