Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Abusing The Patriot Act
Why You Shouldn't Use Your First And Last Name On Your Myspace Profile

I just did the sickest thing in the world, you're going to love it.

I emailed myself a database of the first and last names of everyone I work with at the office.

Once I got home--to my credit--I wondered whether to just leave those alone and do other more important things. After about 5 seconds I inputed all of the names into the Myspace search field one-by-one to find everyone's profiles that I work with.

And eureka, we have the sordid sex lives and playful past times of my coworkers, including the band profile of my straight crush at work whom chatted me up during a luncheon...

"Nice to meet you"
  "Hey, where'd you learn spanish?"
   ("He remembers I know spanish??")
    "...I really liked the movie Shortbus..."
     ("Wow, he totally wants to fuck me.")

I know I can turn him. I've done it before. Judging by his myspace page he really does like chicks, so let's just call him a challenge.

This officially makes me the sickest guy I know, and I know some pretty fucked up people mind you. Drag queens for instance, I know drag queens.


-Gen. Pace joins the clueless likes of Coulter and that black dude (you know the one) who still think its ok to bash gays, guessed they missed that cultural zeitgeist memo. Its like Ted Danson shuffling out in blackface in the 80's, ouch!

Hmm...the death of the anti-gay movement? That gives me an idea...

-Van Halen couldn't make their Rock and Roll hall of fame induction. I'm not a huge fan of their lead singers, but here's why Eddie's awesome: Eruption baby!

-Gaygamer's Pin-up Boy Alex. I'm in geek heaven.

-And finally The Miracle of Life, someone needs to be arrested for that last one.


Deviant said...


Sparkle-Rama said...

i love that technology has afforded us these little "windows" into the lives of others....
good times...

Deviant said...

Wow nice blog! How come the nicest people read all of this bile I spew? It almost makes me feel bad :)

David said...

You should. I'm incredibly nice and yet I not only read you, but befriend you. It boggles the mind.

Deviant said...

I don't know that you've "befriended" me officially David. I've yet to meet any of your grotesque bear friends for instance! That's a big step in the relationship.

Tuna Girl said...

Ha! I'm nice and I thought you were nice when I met you. Then I read this crap, I mean, bile.

I guess I like bile.

Racho said...

Holy shit, that geek boy is gorgeous! Thank you for sharing. :D