Thursday, April 05, 2007

Loss of a Friend
or
Gay Straight or Jew


I lost a friend today, my only Jewish friend.

She didn't die, but her friendship to MY friend Aussie Flapper girl deteriorated, as murky friendships are wont to do. She was devastated, "how could such an investment in a person backfire so quickly," she asked me painfully.

"Fuck her!" was my response.

Well I'm not being completely honest, I did tell her it would take time to get over a person going bad....people are very much like eggs in that respect.

At any rate, their stink will leave your life and you'll be fine in the end.

I'll miss her too though, and I hope chicks really do hold onto their friendships better than men do. She and I invented our own gameshow "Straight, Gay, or Jew."

I guessed a coworker of mine was "Jew" and it was a tough decision to make because has greying hair and dresses like a teenager and has tattoos (older gay daddy clinging onto his youth, or straight mid-life crisis guy).

He had a Jewy face though so I guessed Jew. Turns out he has a weird greek name like Pappadapolis.

What the fuck? I'm still bummed out on that one. My Jew-dar is down.
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Notes

Inappropriate Freed British Hostage Hottie Rundown! I'd love to take Royal Marine Mark Banks and Royal Navy Sailor Nathan Thomas Summers hostage sometime.
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5 comments:

matt c. said...

Hmmm...was she the coke whore?

David said...

Your Jew-dar sucks. A nose is no indication. Semitic noses cover a wide swath of ethnicities. An old boyfriend of mine is Italian/Polish and had a honker with a hook twice the size of mine.

David said...

And by the way, what am I, chopped liver?

Deviant said...

Wow how'd you know betty the cokewhore?

Yeah ok Italian/Polish is halfway Jew so that's not a big surprise that he had the Jew schnoze...but greek?? GREEK!! He must have a mutant strain of Juden or something.

matt c. said...

eh, we hung out while I was there. by the end of the night I wanted her to O.D.