Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Summer Loving
I'll Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That

I was growing a beard for the last week or so.

How horrible is that? Guess why I was growing it.

Yep, it was for a boy. He'd just mentioned that he liked my unshaven look, and that he appreciated seeing things that were out of place; asians who dressed black, old people who dressed hip for their age, and younger twenty-something year old guys with full beards.

He told me quite earnestly that one day I'd look back in my old age at a photograph of my younger self sporting a beard and I'd appreciate it.

I caught him stroking my chin one night. "...MY OLDER SELF MY ASS, IT IS YOU WHO WANTS THE BEARD!" I yelled.

"I like it, ok, but if you shave it isn't a deal-breaker!"

I laughed, to hell it is a deal-breaker. I had just cooked him pasta, its all I can cook. It was thoughtful, but what was even more over the top thoughtful is that I had found myself quickly going from single to growing-a-chia-pet-on-my-chin-for-some-boy.

To paraphrase the Spice Girls: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends and realize I'm waay more selfish than how I appear to be. The beard's coming OFF son, though I'll gladly knit the hairs into a pair of booties for him if he so wishes.

That's right, you heard me. The Deviant is officially....dating.

Wait till I rub this in the face of Mr. Straight-boy office crush, its already eating him up inside alive, believe me.

Quote of the Week

From Aussie Flapper Girl to Me:

You called me, to quote: "a fucking bitch who will end up by alone with no friends" because I'm that horrible.

And I have no memory of this. Yep, it MUST be the start of Summer under the alcoholic moon.


GrooveTheory said...

Well GOOD FOR YOU! It's about damn time. Maybe you'll be less evil :)

David said...

Oh, that poor, poor, boy.