I'll Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That
I was growing a beard for the last week or so.
How horrible is that? Guess why I was growing it.
Yep, it was for a boy. He'd just mentioned that he liked my unshaven look, and that he appreciated seeing things that were out of place; asians who dressed black, old people who dressed hip for their age, and younger twenty-something year old guys with full beards.
He told me quite earnestly that one day I'd look back in my old age at a photograph of my younger self sporting a beard and I'd appreciate it.
I caught him stroking my chin one night. "...MY OLDER SELF MY ASS, IT IS YOU WHO WANTS THE BEARD!" I yelled.
"I like it, ok, but if you shave it isn't a deal-breaker!"
I laughed, to hell it is a deal-breaker. I had just cooked him pasta, its all I can cook. It was thoughtful, but what was even more over the top thoughtful is that I had found myself quickly going from single to growing-a-chia-pet-on-my-chin-for-some-boy.
To paraphrase the Spice Girls: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends and realize I'm waay more selfish than how I appear to be. The beard's coming OFF son, though I'll gladly knit the hairs into a pair of booties for him if he so wishes.
That's right, you heard me. The Deviant is officially....dating.
Wait till I rub this in the face of Mr. Straight-boy office crush, its already eating him up inside alive, believe me.
Quote of the Week
From Aussie Flapper Girl to Me:
You called me, to quote: "a fucking bitch who will end up by alone with no friends" because I'm that horrible.
And I have no memory of this. Yep, it MUST be the start of Summer under the alcoholic moon.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007