Wednesday, May 30, 2007

An Apology
or
This Message Brought To You by 2 Liters of Cheap Red Wine


I'm sorry. Yes I apologize. I have neglected you blog-alicious blog.

The reason for the neglect is simple though, my social life has exploded. Apparently, due to global warming and other major dramatic factors, springtime in Jew York has reached a fever pitch. Weekends are on the fast lanes, the parties are hard, the people are nuts, and I'm on a speed boat in fire island.

Oh yes that's right, my goal of becoming GAYER than I am is coming to fruition. I went to fire island, and I loved it.

The next step in my homofication is catching SUPER AIDS and adopting a small chihuahua named Reina.

The chihuhua has AIDS too.

A friend of mine recently told me that he stopped reading the blog a long time ago (I never read his god damn you!), and I can understand why though.

Blogs are so boring now, words are simply overrated. I'm going to start a youtube channel where I suck on rubber dildoes all day, those are the new blogs!

However, there is a hope at the end of the tunnel.... You see, I'm broke, really.

I'm on the verge of turning 25 (that's a June 2nd birthday, send all gifts to K Joffre, New York New York...) and the social life coupled with the lovely global warming weather is burning my bank account.

Too many adventures and too many loves have left me reaching for change to buy that last piece of Cup O' Noodles, oh woe is me.

Here's where you come in, my readers (and by "readers" I mean "mom") I solemnly swear to write more.

Inbetween the Maxim party and the Fire Island AIDS fests mentioned above, it seems I have forgotten to WRITE. I rarely punch the keys now.

No more!

Since I have to calm down on the bank accout, I promise (and please hold this to me ferociously) that I will update you more often than naught. My social life HAS to die a little, its just too expensive.

Jesus I wish my friends would just DIE already, they're way too expensive to keep around.

5 comments:

Flip X said...

Apparently the hermitism of yore has been replaced by World of Warcraft addiction...which kind of makes your proposal, how you say..."old-skool".

Shwing! Instant street cred!

David said...

Well, I died a little inside recently, does that work for you?

GrooveTheory said...

This is sad! TRULY SAD! But true. I'd like to think that you and I are one of the pioneers of blogging (clearly were not, but whatever) and it did change in the past 2 years. But, hey, I still read yours and comment when I feel like it.

June 2?? Where are we going?

Adrian said...

I tried posting a comment but earlier but it didn't work...

the message was: the marquis de sade wishes you a happy birthday

kevin said...

I'm glad you are ALL MISERABLE