Well yours truly was hit with a ton of bricks this day.
It seems like the "boy that has no nickname" dumped me. DUMPED ME!?
Well to be fair, we'd only gone on four dates, and it wasn't a dump so much as a "oh my god I don't know what I'm doing." call.
Here's the deal.
He called me, we were supposed to get together today, but he said he couldn't see me because....long pause...there was an ex.
Really no more explanation was needed. An ex. His voice faltered, he paused, didn't have the right things to say to me because there were no things to say rationally.
Let me get this straight, you aren't going to come meet me this weekend, ME!? Hot piece of ass, intelligent, funny, saavy, drunk, fun, you weren't wanting any of that because an ex-boyfriend with lingering strands of emotion got ahold of you?
He sounded like a battered wife. "He isn't hitting me, I just be walking into the punches." (that's a queens of comedy reference, nobody was actually being battered).
I gave him the good boy speech ("Fine, I hope you're happy yadda yadda") which quickly degenerated into the resentful boyfriend speech ("I had a gift for you")
I told him exes are exes for a reason, and he told me he knew that, and he didn't know what he was doing. Great! This wasn't the man I liked, this wasn't the boy who told me that he loved to accomplish things above and beyond other people who have the same means as him. This was a slave, a slave to some ex....
Why do some people bend over backwards to their exes? Why do they hold out hope that their exes can change for the better? People change, but rarely for the better. Its more of a sideways change. You essentially know their essence.
Still, I had my freak out moment. My private tantrum, but I've come back. I left him a nice voicemail, "I wouldn't be opposed to being friends," which is a polite lie. I'm sure the wisest of you would say "Well kevin, better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
I don't lose though. I never lose.
If I get a call from him in a month will I pickup the phone? Depends on how I've changed from now I suppose.
Saturday, May 12, 2007