Thursday, June 28, 2007

8 Facts About My Sick Life

I just caught a super late flight from Atlanta Georgia last night, so I'm dead tired.

However, David tagged me with a I feel I should comply because David is going through some very excruciatingly hard times.

That's right, he broke up with his boyfriend.

A moment of silence please. David is embarking on a remarkably stressful situation that most of us will never go through... the BREAKUP of a relationship.

I'm sure nobody knows what that feels like.

Alright let's get to it:


First, the rules:
1. Post the rules before you begin your list
2. List eight random facts/habits about yourself
3. At the end of your blog, choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog. far as memes go this is a pretty suck-ass one. Though I'm pretty tired and irritable right now, so I might as well suck ass.

1) I once faked an illness in order to get out Karate lessons. It worked so well that I extended this illness to miss most of my sophomore year of high school. The illness involved uncontrollable gagging. I was sent to a psychiatrists once doctors realized nothing was wrong with me.

2) I was notoriously shy and completely introverted while in middle school and through most of my childhood. I now find myself to be quite the opposite: noxiously outgoing.

3) I once gave an appallingly patronizing salute to a legless Vietnam war veteran because he wanted some change from me, I refused to give it to him, and he started yelling at me. I don't think I regret doing that.

4) I have flat feet and knock knees. I can't see very well and I'm probably going deaf.

5) I knew I wanted to be a writer when--in 3rd grade--I entranced a room full of my peers with a story I wrote about a doctor who had turned himself into a fly. The story was based on a picture that was given out to all of us. The end twist in the story was that his rival colleague had turned himself into a giant spider.

6) I will eat any food, except raw radishes. They make me gag.

7) My grandma once administered a pill rectally to me...I have no idea what THAT was about, but she's in a home now because she has dementia and Alzheimer' justice is served (?).

8) When I was a kid I once picked up the neighbor's cat, flung him around the air by his tail, and threw him as far as I could. The cat landed on his feet, came up to me, and promptly scratched me in the arm. I never told anyone this occurred except for you all.

Aye that is it. Hmmm I'm tagging everyone who is reading this btw. Yeah that'll work! I'll write more about Atlanta Georgia and its fine tradition of poisonous fried food tommorrow. Tonight though...this next one goes out to my old friend David, giddyap!


GrooveTheory said...

Breakup is a bitch. Been there. Fuck that.

I just posted something, so I'll probably do this very interesting meme next week.

Oh, and when I call you "evil kevin", don't every look at me like I'm crazy. #'s 3,5,7 & 8 validates it perfectly.

Nick said...

Atlanta has a fine tradition of debauchery.

I experienced my first drug high, received my first blowjob, and filmed my first movie in a little neighorhood called Little Five Points.

Ah the memories.

Nick said...

Another note of interest...

There was a rock club in Little Five Points called The Metroplex (dunno if it's still there) whose claim to fame was Sid Vicious getting his ass beat outside the club by some yokels when the Sex Pistols played there in the late 70's.

Deviant said...

Wait a minute! Number 5 isn't a proof of evil! In the end--our hero--the Fly doctor manages to defeat his mutant Spider colleague before finding the cure to his mutation...sure the Spider-Doctor dies violently but GOOD WINS!

Nick, I bet you did all of those things in Atlanta at THE SAME TIME, what a night that must have been.

The WIlde American said...

close. 2 out of 3 :)

bagel of everything said...

Ok I'll play, but on your blog, not mine.

1. I have 2 cousins who are also my uncles because my grandmother adopted them from my aunt. My mother adopted my nephew, so my brother's son is also our brother.

2. When I was a child, we didn't have television service. We had a VCR and one movie: Purple Rain I've seen Purple Rain over 200 times.

3. I once had a pet pig who sexed my sofa regularly.

4. When I was 13 or 14, my mother told me she wished she never had children.

5. I often confuse the smells of chocolate and feces. Eating a chocolate ice cream cone is like sticking my tongue into a frozen dog's anus. Except with a higher fat content. I know because I looked it up.

6. I could read and write at the 4th grade level when I was 3 years old. My spelling & grammar haven't improved much since.

7. I've never been dumped.

8. I'm freaked out by horses. They killed Superman, ya know.

David said...

You're such an ass.


Are you sure #6 isn't related to #1?

Deviant said...

2. When I was a child, we didn't have television service. We had a VCR and one movie: Purple Rain I've seen Purple Rain over 200 times.

HAHA I don't know what that was funny but it was.

Yes David, everything I say is related to everything else. Mwahahaha