Thursday, June 14, 2007

Maid In America
or
2 Days



Mammie's little baby loves shortening shortening...


The roommate and I had a meeting of the minds recently.

I am of a mind that one should not be afraid to live in a house that looks lived in, and she is of a mind that is more of the anal persuasion--that is--she wants everything to look pristine.

No crumbs on the kitchen table. I mean, isn't that the one place that was made for crumbs?

I can understand no floaters in the toilet, but if you believe that crumbs on a kitchen table is 100% unacceptable then I suggest you take up drinking now.

We hired one of those professional maid services, I figure the extra cost of the maid is "get out of my face about cleaning" tax...

All was going well until I saw the scheduled times the maid would come to the house, and the charge for each visit...

4 times a month, 60 bucks a pop.

No way.

So I confronted the roommate as I am best trained to do, and I quite eloquently told her that--while she very well may not FEEL that I will clean the place to her liking--this FEELING does not compare to the REALITY of the fact that I cannot pay for the price of a maid without cutting into my alcohol fund

I'm done being a nice guy I think. This is cut-the-bullshit me, and so far it seems to be working...

We did compromise on hiring a maid to visit once a month for the low low price of 40 bucks (20 bucks each).

"Our neighbor downstairs recommended her, she's cheap and she only speaks spanish." My roommate explained.

Well! Yo Hablo Espanol!

After the confrontation that ended in a compromise that is incredibly to my liking; I marched right on over to the local bottle shop and bought up 3 bottles of their finest red wines with the money I said I supposedly don't have for cleaning.

On my way there I happened to find the professional maid cleaning service. They had recently set up their base of scheming operations near the bottle shop.

"Can you believe that? Maid pro, DOWN THE BLOCK OVER THERE, wanted to charge me a ton of money for cleaning. I'm not having that," I explained to the bottle shop clerk, "now I think I'm entitled to a free bottle with this card right?"

Never come between a man and his rum (wine).

--

Also I'd like to report that Saturday I shall be seeing my old Australian flame whose fire lit up like a newborn firefly. So that would put us 2 days away.

Commencing sit ups and weight lifting now!

Also enjoy my new favorite site Boytaur, finally, a place that showcases hot multiple limbed man-on-man sex.

4 comments:

bagel of everything said...

You're a weird boy.

Welcome to our blogroll. Keep up the awesome.

Deviant said...

Hey groovy, I'll add you too.

bagel said...

you spelt it wrong

Deviant said...

Fixed