Thursday, August 30, 2007

Brain Cancer
My Roommate IS Jewish

My roommate finally came back from her long sojourn.

Turns out her mother finally died of brain cancer.

"She went peacefully, I was there to hold her hand," she said and paused to look down contemplatively, "she's in a better place I'd like to think."

Oh my lord, right? What the hell am I supposed to do? Sympathize?

"Uhh yeah I'm sorry?" I offered.

My roommate then stepped into the bathroom and pointed out a thin strip of dust that had accumulated on the ridge of the bathroom wall. She hysterically told me I hadn't cleaned. She was near sobbing.

And that's when I decided it was time to move.

Hey listen, I'm sorry your mom died of brain cancer, but its not like a thin film of dirt in the bathroom killer her.

I'm never living with another girl again, and that includes my own mother, brain cancer or not!


bagel said...

If I were looking for a roommate, I'd put state that I'm "gay friendly" in the ad, because the gays are a very tidy people.
You should clean more. Or stop being gay.

Or adopt a handsome foreign exchange student from a well-scrubbed yet impoverished country.

Flip X said...

In other news, I'm gatecrashing your town in a few weeks. Is it true that everything I need is in Manhattan?

Too Hotty said...

Jewish? I'm Jewish! Have you seen the dust in MY bathroom?

Don't go insulting me by calling her Jewish because she's crazy. Save it until you find something real like horns or a jewelry franchise.

Deviant said...

I'm looking for gay friendly folks, so that excludes the blacks unfortunately.

Manhattan has it all.

Hey...I swear she has tiny horns underneath all that hair.

"the" Mrs. Astor said...

Dear, Kevin; you are too special to be worrying about dust. Get out, now.

Deviant said...

Thank you Mrs. Astor, I needed to hear that :-p