Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Lost Glasses
or
Rims of Fate


You haven't lived till you've drunkely woken up somewhere in Queens with shit all over your pants and missing glasses.

And so it was that I found myself trying to hail a cab out somewhere in the boondocks while partially blind!

Once I got home and fully rested, I realized the severity of the situation; I'd just lost my prized Prada glasses and was blind as a bat.

Having only a weekend before returning to work, I had to think of a solution fast.

I grabbed my roommate's Grandma Nazi glasses and ran to my local Lenscrafters.

A portly Peruvian woman wanted to scam me into ordering a special order Rayban pair, but I snowjobbed her down to just handing me over a cheap tinted red pair that only cost me 222...and its not even in my prescription.

At first I was a little upset that my face didn't look right with the new glasses, but thankfully I've gotten nothing but compliments and positive feedback from most people on my new glasses.

I feel downright studly!

Unfortunately I also ate a Baconator that nearly killed me, but that's neither here nor there.

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Notes

My Guide for Bedding a Gay Man for the ladies!

Newsflash, there's violence in Iraq A boy had his face melted off, what a downer. Its almost as sad as my above experience.
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3 comments:

bagel said...

" hail a cab out somewhere in the boondocks "

My dear, if there are cabs, it isn't the boondocks.

When I was growin up, directions to my home and my friends' homes included the miles one should drive after leaving the paved road. That's the boondocks.

Also, I bet you look cute even blind and covered in poo.

Deviant said...

Did you have to walk in ten feet of snow when you were my age too?

bagel of everything said...

Yes, because when I was your age, I lived in NY.
Fucking blizzards. How do you people live like that?