Wednesday, August 08, 2007

New York Beats Me
or
Eddie Murphy's Tranny Hooker Friend's Mysterious Death




First it was the Subways flooding, and the cart that did work was full of tiny Asian people.

Then it was the unbelievable heat. I could feel sweat trickling down my back.

Then, finally, I decided to reward myself with Diner food as I walked home. Then I remembered that Diner food sucks, so I was treated to agonizing stomach pain.

Now I'm wet, hot, and fucking fat.

New York beat me like a mouthy wife today. I now completely sympathize with battered women everywhere. New York really loves me, he was just having a bad day today...and I just gave him a little lip is all. Next time, Imma just stay out of his way when he's mad. I know he loves me deep down inside!

At any rate, I was catching up on my favorite website today, which is Bossip, and a strange string of information led me to this tranny's wikipedia page, you may remember her as the tranny that was caught with Eddie Murphy.

Turns out she is dead. A coroner report shows she died of multiple bruises because....well because "he tried to swing from the apartment’s roof to an open window using a towel."

Now if I was a tranny hooker who just scandalized Murphy's career, I'd be preparing my show-stopping interviews. I would certainly not be busy trying to swing into my house Tarzan-like using a mysterious towel I found on my roof.

Draw your own conclusions there while I barf up my triple decker turkey sandwhich.

2 comments:

GrooveTheory said...

wet, hot and fucking fat. GOD I felt that way yesterday too!

I'm not a Bossip person though, I'm more of a TMZ and Perez guy. I like my gossip hardcore :)

Deviant said...

I like my gossip black.