Monday, October 15, 2007

Oedipus Complex
or
Who Needs Christmas When You Have A Wii?




Disregard my last post, I suck cocks!

I was wondering whether or not I could get away with skipping my yearly holiday visit to my family back in LA, in favor of staying in New York and buying myself a Wii.

I'm not sure what it is with mothers that they need for their sons to constantly dote on them and remind them that they love them via phone calls and visits. Mothers! If I'm not holding up liquor stores and doing the "hard" drugs, then chances are I love you and that this love has not diminished since the time I peed my pants in Kindergarten and you came to my rescue.

You ever get that feeling that something went slightly wrong with your childhood?

And I'm not talking about rape or stupid stuff like that, I mean real weird stuff? Like maybe your mom breastfed you for too long, or you saw your Grandma's cooch one too many times...?

Well I think my mom and I slept in the same bed for too long. Seriously, I can only just begin to think how that affected me, but more importantly, it was obvious that she really loved the notion of having her lovely young son sleeping next to her.

I actually think this has lead to me having a very strong sense of intimacy. Unlike many males of my species, I have absolutely no problems or hang-ups about displaying affections to any person I am emotionally and sexually invested in...

I also hate women.

At any rate, yeah, I'm totally skipping Christmas this year.

This Sunday's sermon was about how a male Hooker gave Father Crisco a foot massage and told him that Jesus was inside all of us. I'm skipping posting the details because this isn't a God damn blog about Jesus of all people.
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Notes...

Some jerk-off writer and his friends beat up on an innocent internet stalker. Bonus points for the picture they include of said stalker at the end of the article.

Prince Harry snorts vodka, licks nips. You can apparently snort vodka? OMG I love nature!

Gawker represents the roar of the spurned underclass New York writer LOL WUT? I dare you to read this.


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3 comments:

Matt C said...

i have a british friend that snorts vodka. I tried it once and it burns like hell!

Deviant said...

Something tells me I'll be trying it soon!

bagel said...

I'd snort anything off Prince Harry's nipples.

I've laughed and had liquer come out my nose. It hurts, alot.