Sunday, October 14, 2007

A Parent
or
A Brief Sunday Update


Have you ever had one of those weekends where it feels like no one wants to talk to you and no one you want to talk to is returning your calls?

Right, me neither, because everyone loves me...except for this last weekend. I felt neglected, and not neglected like in a good way, but neglected in a schmucky sort of way.

I felt like I was on my period.

I wish I had a kid, so that I could mold him in my image, and he'd always be around to keep me company and validate me, and when I wanted to go out I'd just chain his wrist to the radiator and leave him a bowl of Ranch Doritos for him to eat.

I'd make a great dad!

3 comments:

bagel said...

You should just clone yourself.
You could then beat the mini-me all you wanted. "Self-abuse" hasn't been illegal for decades.

Laurie Kendrick said...

Something tells me, Dear Deviant, that the phrase "stool samples" aren't pictures of potential seating arrangements that an interior decorator would bring to your house in order to remodel your bar.

You're wildly funny, Mija. I wish I were you. Wish a had a penis...wait, I do!!

Deviant said...

I'd totally do me.

OMG laurie you are drunk.