Monday, November 26, 2007

Deadbeat
or
My Cousin's Car Accident




I found out from Mama Deviant that my cousin got into a big car accident on her way back home from a stay with her father in Guatemala.

My family, as you may or may not know, live in Los Angeles, and they mostly compose of women who left deadbeat spouses in Guatemala in order to gather their resources here in the States and raise their bastard children.

Now I'm not sure where this leaves me, whether I'm attracted to boys who--like my mother--have a sweet/shy aspect about them and a strong maternal instinct, or whether I'm attracted to types who are like my father; charming funny flakes...Oh right the accident.

My little sister is fine, except for the fact that the accident left her bleeding and in the hospital. Apparently there was shattered glass on her head and hands. Mother said she was resting at a local hospital in God knows where, probably some Mayan temple for all I know.

I'm starting to understand why these women didn't pine for the fathers of their offspring, I mean here my li'l sis lives a good healthy 16 years in Los Angeles with us all, and ONE WEEK that she's in that God-forsaken country with her father of all people, and she ends up in the hospital.

Now its true her mom dropped the little girl on her head in the shower as a toddler, but she's since made up for that throughout the years.

Mamma Deviant said that the car was near a cliff, so my li'l sis would have fallen out onto a cliff if she had gotten out of the car. I'm not sure if she was just being a drama queen, but I'm serious when I tell you that I want that girl as far away from her crazy Spanish father as quickly as humanly possible.

You end up one day in Guatemala and you're stuck in a car accident with your deadbeat father, several bottles of Colt 45s in the back seat, and hanging precariously over a cliff ready to die like Wile E Coyote.

After Guatemala my cousin is going to stay with her uncle, Idi Amin. This is ridiculous.
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Notes...

-Britney Spears runs stoplights. She doesn't even have the decency to do this in Guatemala, she's doing it in your neighborhood!

-Jealous Moms. Very interesting article on the taboo of a mother being jealous towards her daughter.. I personally think jealous moms are adult abortions.

-Anglican vs. Roman Catholic. Its like Sega Vs. Nintendo for grown-up losers.

-Fags: A Gallery!

-A snazzy full picture of Heath Ledger as the Joker is slowly being revealed here. So far I like his style better than any of the ones in Fags: A Gallery.

-Mayor Ken Williams claims his name is actually Don LaRose because he was running away from Satanists. I wonder which side they fall on in the Anglican vs. Roman Catholic debate.

-Slate on the idiocy of Youtube street fights with handy links to said fights.

-And finally NSFW. Cute nerdboy gets naked. Ah, intershit, how much I love you.
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3 comments:

Retro said...

Well, I'm glad everybody is fine. As for you though ... mmmm

Deviant said...

Jury's still out on that one?

bagel said...

Awe, you were a cute baby! Is that your dad?