Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My Tragedy Is As Big As Yours, Therefore I Can Relate

Today my coworker mentioned that his grandfather--who he was very close to--had passed away during Thanksgiving, which is why he had been gone for the whole week.

I felt really bad, so I mentioned that my cousin had been in a crazy car accident in Guatemala, and that there was blood involved. I then realized that my story didn't match his really, because my cousin was ok and had recently called me from home in Los Angeles telling me that she just had some internal bleeding that would heal right up...

So I told my coworker that she almost fell off a cliff, Wile E Coyote style.

My coworker mentioned that his grandfather's funeral was right after Thanksgiving, so he had to stay longer and schlepp a trainride back to New York because he had missed his flight. His family was of course in a tragic mess, and he could do little to console them.

I realized that I would probably just see my lil sister in a few bandages, and we'd otherwise have an intimate and warm Christmas together, trading gifts and singing songs.

So I told him that David's mother had cancer.

I don't know what came over me, but I'm sure that must have been the least comforting thing anyone has ever said to him, and I know I was totally reaching (Sorry David! But I didn't use your name or anything).

I don't know why I felt compelled to compare tragic stories, but I just did, I was prepared to read off a laundry list of tragedies my friends had gone through, but stopped short of "....and my old friend has a cocaine addiction."

What the hell is wrong with me? I'm going to go listen to Linkin Park



Don't Name Your Teddies Muhammed, it isn't being the victim of gang-rape, but its damn near close there you uppity gal.

White chick dumps Middle east boy on Dr. Phil. I personally think he's still got a chance here.

Heath Ledger as the Joker is revealed here

So...the latest meme to hit the internet is the 2 girls 1 cup gross out video. You can find a description of the video here. I went ahead and found the clip and saw it all the way through with only one almost-retch. Thanks internet, you've desensitized me. Oh the actual clip to the video is linked on the period attached to the end of this sentence, its not safe for anyone.


bagel said...

The internal bleeding will just leak out her twat and she'll be fine.

GrooveTheory said...

HAHAHA! I can actually see you talking to the poor dude. "Oh yeah! My story is more tragic and gory than yours!".

You're a hot mess!

WDL said...

oh my g-d. i clicked on the period, and i couldn't watch any more than the first 2 seconds.

i should have listened.


David said...

You're a total prick, but you made me laugh, so I guess it balances out.

Deviant said...

I meant well.