Thursday, November 29, 2007

I'll Be Home (In Los Angeles For Christmas)
or
The Places I'm Looking Forward To Visiting In LA




I'm scheduled to fly back to my hometown of Los Angeles for the holidays. The trip will be pleasantly short--a week--which is just enough time for me to become irritated with all the blonde bimbos, slow-walkers, Mexicans, and irritating DUI laws.

There are things I look forward to seeing, besides my annoying family and self-medicated friends, and one of them is the In N Out Burger.

The In N Out Burger is the best chain cheeseburger you will ever have. Britney Spears (or one of those Hollywood whores) was caught munching on one.

The second site that I would love to relax in would be the Novel Cafe...and NO not the Westwood novel cafe which is inundated with boorish and crude UCLA students--no I'm talking about the Venice Beach Novel Cafe, the coziest spot in Los Angeles.

Then I'll go to my other missed spot, and that is the Bourgeois Pig...and NOT the Bourgeois Pig in NY which is a fabulous Wine bar in the East Village--fool; but the CAFE in Los Angeles that exists in the spot that most encapsulates LA, a long street full of palm trees right in front of the Scientology compound.

Tres magnifique.

Finally I will go to the Tomkat Theater for hot delicious anonymous gay sex. Yum yum, delicious Gono.

There you have it. I'll be back in LA shortly, a little taller, a little wiser, and quite frankly a little hairier.
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Notes

A grandma's reaction to watching 2 girls 1 cup. They only tape her reaction so don't worry!

Judge allows child to commit suicide because of his religion. This judge should be stripped of his title and run off society. My word and such.
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2 comments:

David said...

A little.

That "No Retreat No Surrender" video is gay gay gay gay gay! Wow.

WDL said...

oh my g-d she is throwing up!

classic.

I laughed so hard!!

xo,
WDL