Tuesday, December 04, 2007

First Day of Hanukkah
Bring On The Fake Holidays

Today is the first day of Hannukah, or as I like to refer to it Christmas-lite.

I mistakenly told our office secretary that she should have only one of the candles on her minorah lit, but she corrected me, "actually the center candle powers the others, and has to be lit first."

I thought that was shit, and I also thought it was shit that the candle wasn't a candle, but individual light bulbs.

I think Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and all that aren't actual REAL holidays, I think its just stuff people made up who felt envious of Christmas.

Just look at the Mexicans, everyone complains that the Mexicans still want to retain their culture, that they won't adapt, but come Christmas time guess who is buying the plastic Christmas trees and putting the Turkeys in the roast? That's right, the Mexicans!

Black people had to go ahead and invent a whole new holiday because they hate whitey so much.

Let's give up this charade and everyone just get trees, and guiltily pray to little plastic figurines ok?

Happy Hannukah!


David Bowie said...

You're such a wonderful person, but you got problems.

David said...

Nice try. Our holiday came first. Suck it up.

WDL said...

bitter. party of one. your table is ready.

that center candle is called the shamash, and it does indeed "power" the rest. its a bonus candle!

feliz navidad, foriegner!


Deviant said...

Thanks david bowie, and jews!