Monday, January 21, 2008

Assherpes
or
Livejournal: Currently Feeling - Sappy




The particulars and minutiae of how and why I stopped speaking to THE boy of last year--meaning the one boy that made it through the prelims and won the championship for my affection, which was a pretty shortchanged award--well they're boring and a little too personal to go into...

Ok, I might have been pushy and generally impatient. I'm also not very good at "recognizing the needs and wants of others," but we stopped talking ultimately because he wanted to slow down and I didn't.

We liked each other well enough, he took a lot of risks emotionally but--quite honestly--we're both emotional messes with walls so big and tall that you can see them from space.

I recently realized that I missed him, silly me, and that I'd like to reconnect. We began talking for the last week and I finally made my move and asked him to dinner. He replied:

"well, I'm dating someone now-- so, would you still want to knowing that?"

That sentence cut through me with all the grace of a rusted box cutter. I'm so messed up that I stayed up all night running scenarios through my head. "Is this dating real serious? Is it another boy he's keeping at bay? Does he love me more than he loves him? Does he not love me at all?"

Of course, I would go out to dinner with him despite his dating status, and I plan on going out and having a friendly charming wonderful time...

...and I plan on stealing him away with me.

This is all unbeknownst to him of course, and its nerve wracking because I only have a vague idea on how to go about doing this from really bad chick flicks and Sex In The City episodes.

I need help with this, so any advice is appreciated. I'm going to be off cutting myself

BREAKING NEWS!!



Hmm, disregard that, I suck oocks and now that I remember, he did have assherpes. I'm over it

2 comments:

bagel said...

Feelings are contagious, so I'm staying the hell away from this.
However, my friend Mr. Floyd has a video to comfort you, in this your time of need:

Hush now baby, baby dont you cry.
Mama's gonna check out all your boyfriends for you.
Mama wont let anyone with assherpes get through.

David said...

Well I'm glad that's all settled.