Offensive Comedy Website Chides Me
I learned a horrible lesson this weekend, the media really IS owned by Jews!
I've written for Ration Reality, an offensive but funny comedy site that regularly makes fun of such things as, AIDS, Jesus Christ, road kill, and Shirley Temple who on that page is naked but wearing a Nazi hat and boots, and masturbating with a whip.
In their comments section I posted a funny article of born again Bushy going to Auchwitz, wearing a Yarmulke, and pretend-sobbing over the Jewish people who had died there, it was all an obvious photo-op in a long line of photo ops in an administrating proven to be slightly less criminal than the system by which bonobo monkeys use to govern each other, and I thought the article was inherently funny.
Unfortunately one of the commenters, who I had pegged as a slightly homophobic conservative, found me insulting for even having linked to the story. Naturally, while being egged on by head mod and gal pal Bagel, I teased the guy, as I tease all perceived douchebags.
And in the process of teasing him I said the Bush article is funny because THE HOLOCAUST DIDN'T HAPPEN, DUH!
Apparently denying that the holocaust ever happened, even in clear antagonizing jest, was the only thing considered offensive on the site since the thread was moved to an old article I had written. I felt a little disturbed because no one had told me I was writing for a Zionist site!
Its like writing a couple of Atheist jokes for a site that turns out to be a front for Militant Christians.
I then received messages on the site about the importance and severity of the Jewish holocaust, which to my understanding was worse than the Armenian Genocide, but nobody gives a shit about the Armenians and all their websites are crap anyway.
I was then surprised to see that I had been called a fag by my antagonist, an offense that went unnoticed for a while, and when it was noticed, it was dismissed because...well because gay people call each other fag, so the insult really doesn't carry the severity of denying the holocaust.
I call bullshit on this because all of my Jewish friends deny the holocaust happened every time they see me. "Hey Kevin, sup? The holocaust didn't happen. Hey Kevin! What Holocaust? You down for drinks tonight Kevin? Fuck da holocaust!" Therefore, denying the holocaust is perfectly reasonable!
I feel insulted and degraded because of this incident, and let me tell you why. My antagonist did not have enough gay points to call me a fag, when I clearly have enough Jew points to deny that not only did the Holocaust not happen, but that Jews themselves don't even exist, and if they did, then they obviously did 9-11.
Here are my antagonist's reasons for even saying the word fag:
"I’ve had two gay friends for the last 38 years, but they’re gay, not fags. And I go to gay clubs because the music is better and no one hits on my wife. I dont give a fuck if you gargle donkey dicks, leave my mother and grandmother alone. Been in the rest. business my whole life and I've probably hired more gays than you’ll ever meet."
Nope, not enough gay points.
You see, you need a great number of black points or CRED in order to use the word "nigger," if you don't have the points, then you can't use the word. I grew up in the inner city of Los Angeles in Inglewood with gang-bangers, my coming of age occurred during the L.A. Riots, I'm Latino so I'm practically black, therefore I have enough points to say nigger without flinching.
You, more likely than not, don't even have enough points to READ THE WORD nigger (which is why you're sweating right about now), much less say it, but you might just have enough points to listen to the word on rap albums provided you haven't killed a black person.
I want to make it clear to everyone reading this and people who read Ration Reality, that I have enough Jewish points to deny the holocaust ever happened.
Allow me to show you my points.
10) I lived with a Jewish girl for a good year! And she was Super Jewish, complete with neon menorahs and money lending abilities, also horns.
9) Some of my favorite movies are Woody Allen movies, I just hate that whiney obnoxious old guy who stars in most of them.
8) I kvetch
7) I own and proudly display my rainbow Star of David, given to me by a Jewish coke fiend.
6) I am blogging buddies with Matthew the Well Dressed Librarian. He wants me.
5) I live in New York. Jew capital of the states.
4) I eat bagels with cream cheese every other morning before going to work...for a French Jew.
3) I am personal friends and blogging buddies with David P. Militant gay Jew and lover of Sondheim musicals. Loves action movies.
2) I'm personal friends and blogging buddies with Scott. Who is a fun gay jew....Hmm I'm just now realizing that I only know gay jews, but they're the best jews anyway.
1) The Holocaust? I don't think JESUS CHRIST existed! You can't get more Jewy than that now can you?
And now a word from I. Washington
He's a dumb bigot though, so what does he know?
Here's what I know,
Some insults are worse than others, and some groups should be protected over others, because insults can be measured by outcry, and we should protect the people who can't take the insults no matter how much they love insulting other groups. Of course this only works as long as most people don't complain, because then everyone becomes irritated and they usually start yelling at ME like I can do anything about their lives!
Life lessons are good.
Notes...I was bored at work Edition
Crippled cheater Oscar Pistorius wanted to cheat at the Olympics. Cheater cheater crippled cheater!
Bodies of 4 girls found in abandoned house. OMG I totally saw this on HBO's The Wire. Coincidentally "Have you seen HBO's The Wire" is now code for "there are blacks around." FYI
11 Year old has a great idea for how to finally kill all the homeless. Let's poison them! I'm 100% behind this.
Hate speech is serious business in Canada, haha FAGS! I can say that because I'm gay, but you can't!
Hannah Montana uses body double How could she? :(
Mystery Science Theater revamped for the internet. Its on boingboing but not boingtarded (i.e. It isn't some crappy arts and crafts bullshit).
Finally, From the Zac Efron interview:
"Somewhere in the world, right this second, a little gay boy is making a plastic Zac Efron kiss another plastic Zac Efron."
That's stupid, I make him kiss Chris Evans in his Fantastic Four Costume.
Monday, January 14, 2008