Monday, January 14, 2008

Holocaust Denial
Offensive Comedy Website Chides Me

I learned a horrible lesson this weekend, the media really IS owned by Jews!

I've written for Ration Reality, an offensive but funny comedy site that regularly makes fun of such things as, AIDS, Jesus Christ, road kill, and Shirley Temple who on that page is naked but wearing a Nazi hat and boots, and masturbating with a whip.

In their comments section I posted a funny article of born again Bushy going to Auchwitz, wearing a Yarmulke, and pretend-sobbing over the Jewish people who had died there, it was all an obvious photo-op in a long line of photo ops in an administrating proven to be slightly less criminal than the system by which bonobo monkeys use to govern each other, and I thought the article was inherently funny.

Unfortunately one of the commenters, who I had pegged as a slightly homophobic conservative, found me insulting for even having linked to the story. Naturally, while being egged on by head mod and gal pal Bagel, I teased the guy, as I tease all perceived douchebags.

And in the process of teasing him I said the Bush article is funny because THE HOLOCAUST DIDN'T HAPPEN, DUH!

Apparently denying that the holocaust ever happened, even in clear antagonizing jest, was the only thing considered offensive on the site since the thread was moved to an old article I had written. I felt a little disturbed because no one had told me I was writing for a Zionist site!


Its like writing a couple of Atheist jokes for a site that turns out to be a front for Militant Christians.

I then received messages on the site about the importance and severity of the Jewish holocaust, which to my understanding was worse than the Armenian Genocide, but nobody gives a shit about the Armenians and all their websites are crap anyway.

I was then surprised to see that I had been called a fag by my antagonist, an offense that went unnoticed for a while, and when it was noticed, it was dismissed because...well because gay people call each other fag, so the insult really doesn't carry the severity of denying the holocaust.

I call bullshit on this because all of my Jewish friends deny the holocaust happened every time they see me. "Hey Kevin, sup? The holocaust didn't happen. Hey Kevin! What Holocaust? You down for drinks tonight Kevin? Fuck da holocaust!" Therefore, denying the holocaust is perfectly reasonable!

I feel insulted and degraded because of this incident, and let me tell you why. My antagonist did not have enough gay points to call me a fag, when I clearly have enough Jew points to deny that not only did the Holocaust not happen, but that Jews themselves don't even exist, and if they did, then they obviously did 9-11.

Here are my antagonist's reasons for even saying the word fag:

"I’ve had two gay friends for the last 38 years, but they’re gay, not fags. And I go to gay clubs because the music is better and no one hits on my wife. I dont give a fuck if you gargle donkey dicks, leave my mother and grandmother alone. Been in the rest. business my whole life and I've probably hired more gays than you’ll ever meet."

Nope, not enough gay points.

You see, you need a great number of black points or CRED in order to use the word "nigger," if you don't have the points, then you can't use the word. I grew up in the inner city of Los Angeles in Inglewood with gang-bangers, my coming of age occurred during the L.A. Riots, I'm Latino so I'm practically black, therefore I have enough points to say nigger without flinching.

You, more likely than not, don't even have enough points to READ THE WORD nigger (which is why you're sweating right about now), much less say it, but you might just have enough points to listen to the word on rap albums provided you haven't killed a black person.

I want to make it clear to everyone reading this and people who read Ration Reality, that I have enough Jewish points to deny the holocaust ever happened.

Allow me to show you my points.

10) I lived with a Jewish girl for a good year! And she was Super Jewish, complete with neon menorahs and money lending abilities, also horns.

9) Some of my favorite movies are Woody Allen movies, I just hate that whiney obnoxious old guy who stars in most of them.

8) I kvetch

7) I own and proudly display my rainbow Star of David, given to me by a Jewish coke fiend.

6) I am blogging buddies with Matthew the Well Dressed Librarian. He wants me.

5) I live in New York. Jew capital of the states.

4) I eat bagels with cream cheese every other morning before going to work...for a French Jew.

3) I am personal friends and blogging buddies with David P. Militant gay Jew and lover of Sondheim musicals. Loves action movies.

2) I'm personal friends and blogging buddies with Scott. Who is a fun gay jew....Hmm I'm just now realizing that I only know gay jews, but they're the best jews anyway.

1) The Holocaust? I don't think JESUS CHRIST existed! You can't get more Jewy than that now can you?

And now a word from I. Washington

He's a dumb bigot though, so what does he know?

Here's what I know,

Some insults are worse than others, and some groups should be protected over others, because insults can be measured by outcry, and we should protect the people who can't take the insults no matter how much they love insulting other groups. Of course this only works as long as most people don't complain, because then everyone becomes irritated and they usually start yelling at ME like I can do anything about their lives!

Life lessons are good.

Notes...I was bored at work Edition

Crippled cheater Oscar Pistorius wanted to cheat at the Olympics. Cheater cheater crippled cheater!

Bodies of 4 girls found in abandoned house. OMG I totally saw this on HBO's The Wire. Coincidentally "Have you seen HBO's The Wire" is now code for "there are blacks around." FYI

11 Year old has a great idea for how to finally kill all the homeless. Let's poison them! I'm 100% behind this.

Hate speech is serious business in Canada, haha FAGS! I can say that because I'm gay, but you can't!

Hannah Montana uses body double How could she? :(

Mystery Science Theater revamped for the internet. Its on boingboing but not boingtarded (i.e. It isn't some crappy arts and crafts bullshit).

Finally, From the Zac Efron interview:

"Somewhere in the world, right this second, a little gay boy is making a plastic Zac Efron kiss another plastic Zac Efron."

That's stupid, I make him kiss Chris Evans in his Fantastic Four Costume.


bagel said...

And that's exactly how it happened, too!, wait. It wasn't.

You should write more about me. I like when you write about me.

It makes me moist.

Soylent Ape said...

Damn right, we control the media...right down to sad little blogs on WordPress. You are aware, of course, that Bagel isn't Jewish? In fact, I hear her high school cheerleading photos have been modeled into aryan sex dolls. (Skinhead blow-up dolls--it's a niche market.)

BTW, Stonewall didn't happen. DUH!

bagel said...

First off, Kevin: You had an open chat window to me the entire time. I was telling you what I was doing to quell the situation before I did it. At any point you could have made a complaint or suggestion. You had my ear and you know it.

1."owned by Jews"

As Soy has stated, I, the owner of the site, am not Jewish. Soy, editor, is a mutt with a few drops of Jewish blood. Neither of us are Jewish by religion. You know this.

2. "offensive but funny comedy site that regularly makes fun of such things as, AIDS, Jesus Christ, road kill, and Shirley Temple..."

Thanks, but do you seriously think those are the most offensive things we've done? I've written way worse in letters to my grama. We also make tons of jewish jokes...but the difference is they are (at least intended to be) funny. Also, you're the one who makes fun of AIDS there, almost exclusively. We (mostly me) do poke fun of Christianity, namely the hypocrisy one finds within it (since you're counting points, Soy & I are both Christian. My grandfather even founded his own church)

3. The news article was funny, exactly for those reasons. I told you I'd put it up on the news sidebar. Had you offerend to write an article about it, you know I'd have been pleased to accept it.

4. "And in the process of teasing him I said the Bush article is funny because THE HOLOCAUST DIDN'T HAPPEN, DUH!"

Not exactly, but close enough. While holocaust denial is horrid (and not only offensive to Jews, but should be to any non-aryans, gays, writers, and all the other groups they murdered -- so yes, maybe denying the murders of thousands of gays is worse than calling someone a 'fag' in an arguement-- who cares which is worse? They're both ugly) your offense came in kicking the man while he was down, after he'd apologized to you. Up to that point, he'd said nothing unforgivable. You chose to deny the holocaust, not because it was a funny joke, but you knew damn well that was his button. You pushed it just to make him go apeshit -- and then you got pissy (much after the fact) when he, in his rage, dropped the f-bomb.

5. "Apparently denying that the holocaust ever happened, even in clear antagonizing jest, was the only thing considered offensive on the site since the thread was moved to an old article..."

A: I strongly suggested the move to the other post BEFORE you made your 'denial' comment, and it was directed at micky, who I felt unfairly jumped at you. Granted, the time stamp is close enough that we may have been typing at the same time, but my 'move it' request is ABOVE yours.

B: Having already made the "move it to another thread" request to Micky, I couldn't very well back down then, could I? WTF good is a mod who'll do that?

C: I saved the live article from threadjacking by moving it to an older article, that older article being one that illustrated how to take a personal attack! I've moved threadjacks before. That's what mods do. That live post still had its own comments pouring in from people who had something to say about the post itself.

D: Further, the writer of that post wasn't even present during the discussion, and it was unfair to him to allow it to be hijacked. The post to which it was moved was your post.

E: I'm sure you don't understand this, as you moderate your comments as they come in, thereby stifling the flow of conversation between your readers. That post has over 40 comments not related to your fight, and they were still pouring in before everyone got scared away by the bickering. Few of our afternoon and evening readers would touch it when the two of you were done pissing all over it.

6: ah hell, fuck the numbers...

Micky dropped the f-bomb. I like how you didn't quite think the way he said it was offensive/funny enough, so you misquoted him. It's an ugly word and he used it in an ugly way. You know damn well you pushed him over the edge on purpose. I likely would have done something immediately, except that you were joking about it privately to me, and his "gays vs. fags" argument had you in laughing fits -- you called it the best thread ever! I was stunned by his words, and quite displeased, but things were cooling down, you weren't hurt by it then, and I was emotionally drained. Later, I did admonish him on RR. And he apologized.

As for your "i can deny it" ... why is it all about the jews? What part of THEY KILLED GAYS, TOO do you not get? The guy who you pissed off so much isn't even Jewish! His mother and grandmother were interred for helping the allies.

Lastly: Yes, I was offended by both you and micky. I yelled at both of you as a commenter; I expressed my opinions. The only actions I made as moderator was to move the fight to a more appropriate place. And I did so by moving micky's comment, not yours-- and he stands by my decision. It was still right there in the public eye, because everyone checks the recent comments list to see where the action is at, and I left a trail of breadcrumbs leading to it. Everyone followed, giving your older post the attention it deserved (It was a great piece of writing that flew under the radar). You were not censored. You've simply picked a fight, lost said fight, and then got all buttsore over it.

Can you not write a funny article critiquing our actions with at least some degree of intellectual honesty? You're way too clever to resort to such blatant twists of the events, Kevin. I'll freely admit that I made some screw-ups in my handling of the situation, but at least I screwed up honestly.

Too Hotty said...

I'm Jewish and my great uncle was in the Holocaust! You have no right. He's worth 10 of you... y'know, if you were to exhume his body and steal his gold teeth.

Nice article. Now, can we talk about something else this Friday night?

re: Oscar Pistorius -- I'd love to see one of those things snap during a sprint.

re: The homeless article -- Gross, I guess I'm attracted to 11-year-olds now.

Heather said...

OMG. The whole incident and its aftermath are funny as shit to me, due in no small part to the fact that I got cyberreamed the week prior by exactly the same dude. It's like you got my sloppy seconds, so we have a bond now! 'Cept for the fact that he does that everywhere or whatever. But yeah: sloppy seconds! Whoo!

Now I'm off to doctor these photos of the Inquisition. Wait. What?

keywork said...

umm. yeah, some people can't take insults apparently. Ape, I'd be interested in those aryan sex dolls, I need some new lawn art. Dinosaurs never happened.

Deviant said...

This isn't a holocaust, its a LOLcaust!

micky said...

What gives you the fucking assinine idea to think that you somehow have the right to use certains words, and others dont ?
You think you're that fucking special?
Yea, right, I know how it goes.
fucking elitest little bitch who thinks hes cornerd the market on some kind of off beat humor that is just in its pubescent stage of growth and soon evryone will catch on and you'll be the stand up comic of the year.
Wrong !
You're just another angry little confused butt munching queer who thinks the whole world owes him a laugh at anyones expense.
Any fucking idiot can say off the cuff shit that takes no imagination or creativity and get a response. What you dont realize is that most of the time people are laughing at you, and telling themselves " man! this guy is hard up ! And its so funny that someone will go to that extreme just for a laugh and some acceptance.
You're a lying piece of shit Kevin.
I came out and humbled myself and apologized.
The chickenshit bitch that you are couldnt find any other thing to do for a laugh again, so you continued your little tirade.
Its not funny anymore, or that it ever was.
I almost feel sorry for you.
Here . you might learn something.

David said...

I wish you could see just how big the smile on my face is.

Man, when you create a shit storm, you create a full-out, balls-to-the-wall SHIT STORM!

I like action movies?

kevin said...

I'm white trash kryptonite.

micky said...

Kryptonite was used to disable a man of steel who had super powers.
And the guy who used it against him was not man enough himself to do it by conventional means.
So he resorted to dispicable and fraudulant means.
You get all fucking cry baby when someone calls you a fag.
But you and your buddy think the shit storm you created is funny.
The most attention derived out of ths went your way in a negative fashion. You say that in order to call niggers niggers and fags fags you have to of known a few to have cred.
Well, you called me a douch bag so you must know quite a few of those too.
I have enough cred to call you a fag. Because I've met many of them.
Fair enough ?

Deviant said...

Are you mentally ill? Because if you are then I'm REALLY sorry.

Micky said...

Crazy maybe, but not stupid.
You're just an unimaginative punk who cant think of any other way to entertain himself other than saying shit that any retard would know is not funny , just cruel.
Any fucking two bit bitch can think up the crap you say. You're a loser. You're only resource for a laugh is to make fun of things that no else does, just for shock value.
Its like watching a gay jackass convention. Instead of physical stupidity this comes from your mouth. Its like listening to a retarded mongoloid with tourettes syndrome.

Deviant said...

Jealous that I'm an unimaginative punk, and you're just unimaginative?

micky said...

Imagine getting yourself an education on world events and history.
I'm not going to play a baby game of semantics with you.
But I did prove to be more of a class act than you as all your peers have made clear to you.
I apologized. But you are too fucking dumb to know when to quit.
Your ignorance and lack of education is shown by you thinking that the plite of a gay men being called fag is any way comprable to what millions of innocent people went through, and as aresult were eventually killed.
The injustices put upon gay men were mostly innacted in history by Hitler himself, although it was a very small handfull , he hated them. He would of laughed at what you said to me, and then killed you also.
Gays have not ever had to endure one bit as much disgrace and horror as the Jews and outsiders did as any of the largest gay populations today will ever come close to.
You look like an oversensative little bitch getting all upset because some guy called you a fag.
Come to think of it, thats exactly what you are.

Deviant said...

Oh yeah? Well least my mom didn't get nazi bone in her like yours did!

micky said...

Then I can only assume she got all the others in the world.
Whos yer daddy bitch ?

Anonymous said...

Hating what we don't understand is what keeps Hitler alive in spirit, so peace to both of you. Now party like fabulous bitches.

Deviant said...

That and my Nazi Memorabilia keeps Hitler alive. Everytime you "sieg heil" Micky's mom feels a tingle in her vagina.

WDL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.