Monday, February 11, 2008

Guy Branum's Bleeding Asshole
or
Why You Should Vote For Hillary Clinton


Skwaaaaa!


Slate has gone and done it now, they've hired a certifiably bat-shit insane person to write an article for them!

Its time for the press to scrutinize Chelsea, which is Guy Branum's sequel to his older article entitled: "Let's dance on Chelsea's bloody carcass, a "satirical" article written when he was 21 (or 22).

Satirical is in quotations above the same way that Alanis Morrisette's 1992 hit "Ironic" is in quotations...no wait Ironic isn't in quotations! It also isn't ironic (and to be fair, it probably wasn't released in 1992, but I was much too lazy to Google it).

I sincerely doubt that Mrs. Clinton--a proper American Senator and Presidential candidate--has actually driven her daughter to public prostitution, and I applaud the fact that she, as a mother, will ruin your life if you go after her daughter (I told you she was hardcore!).

As for Guy Branum, a quick search of his name on Wikipedia reveals that he is a homosexual, revealed in an article that is a dead link, so it may just be complete heresy, but I don't doubt that if Hillary Clinton did raid his apartment at a young age, that she also made him gay.

Hillary Clinton is the gay Democratic candidate. Vote Hillary because she's straight up P-I-M-P.
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Notes

Anonymous protests Scientology. Everyone knows they're from ebaumsworld.

Homosexuals are mostly secret pederasts the proof is in fashion designers and a linked to website with research that is not peer reviewed, because peers are little more than the tricks of the liberal hive-mind used for the purposes of hetero subterfuge. Time Cube!
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3 comments:

person said...

um...not that it matters, but I'm pretty sure that "Anonymous' is 4chan not ebaumsworld.

kevin said...

gb2 gaia!

bagel said...

Everyone knows Anon is YTMND