Thursday, March 20, 2008

Good Friday
or
High Holy Holidays


As my coworker and I languished on a slow Thursday afternoon, she reminded me that tomorrow was Good Friday, essentially the death of Christ.

"I can't fucking fast in the office because I'll smell everybody's food," she explained to me. I wasn't even aware that you had to fast on Good Friday as I am a bad Catholic, so bad--in fact--that I'm an atheist.

This fact doesn't stop my mother from calling me and reminding me that I can't eat meat every Friday of this month. I tell her I'll remember to follow those instructions, and then I go and forget what I eat on Friday which probably involved several steaks and some pork rinds.

I did some research though and according to this TIME article tomorrow will be several holy holidays from various competing religions. You've got your Purim and....some other ones that don't really matter because who really gives a shit about the Far East...

All they do is light themselves on fire and stuff.

The high holy holidays always wash over me like a light breeze. They aren't the COOL FUN holidays like Christmas and Halloween, they're meant to underline your faith in all of its modern day banality.

I'm sure remembering the death of Christ five years after it happened was a much more powerful ceremony THEN than it is now like 400 years into the future. Nowadays you just go through the motions and pretend the other person in your religion doesn't notice how not into it you are.

Nothing says faith like being BORED. I swear my mother used that to show her love for Christ. When she saw me fidgeting in church she'd whisper, "this is the sacrifice you make to Jesus..."

Yeah I know what you're thinking, Christians are crazy, but remember that without them nobody would have Christmas, so I'll put up with their bullshit just for tomorrow under protest.

2 comments:

David said...

Wow, that last cartoon...even I'm offended.

bagel said...

American & Greek openings, + stigmata

That's so winningful.