Monday, March 31, 2008

I Wore A Tux
The Bizarro/Superman Connection

I wore a tux for the first time this weekend...

Actually my mother made me wear a little tiny tux when i was little for my first communion. I remember wearing it in front of a priest who kept asking me questions about what the Catholic religion meant to me, and I imagine that he touched me inappropriately. I think I'm the only person that actively adds memories of molestation as opposed to oppressing such instances like a normal person would.

At any rate, I wore it to a Gala event that benefits AIDS. There were a lot of men who wore crazy drag queen outfits, and I was glad that I'm more jewy than super femmy.

That isn't to say that I wouldn't stand up for the super femmy. I feel like how Superman would pummel Bizarro, but if the military comes to kill Bizarro, he'd protect him.

And then Superman tricks Bizarro into sniffing a sleeping gas grenade, and ships him back to his fucked up Bizarro dimension.

Drag queens am Bizarro.


bagel said...



WDL said...

how are tuxes jewy?

i mean i own one, but i go to formal dinner parties.

more importantly, did you get molested this time when you wore the tux? if so, post photos of the parts that were touched.


Kevin said...

I didn't get molested, but I forgot to mention:

Tim Gunn was supposed to be there, but he just sent an annoying video, and apparently "the fat guy from project runway" was there but had laryngitis so he couldn't talk. Tim Gunn may or may not have made a crack about "the fat guy" by saying that he was going to lose his gag reflex....from EATING.

However I may have just been drunk at that time.