Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Stuff That White People Like: Debunked
or
Stuff That Was Stolen From Minorities



Don't get me wrong, most of the stuff that is on this list is dead on, however, there are just one or two things I wanted to correct.

Hating your parents - Easily the laziest entry in this otherwise insightful and practical blog. Hating one's parents has been perfected by minorities, who have grown up with no fathers and overbearing mothers who have convinced us--quite succesfully--that our fathers were pricks that we should hate.

Having two last names - We are reaching again for a thread that is a little too thin. White people haven't readily adopted a two last name system as well as hispanics have.

We have it down to a serious science. Your first last name is your father's, and your second last name is your mother's. Your first name is the name of the chicken who lost the ceremonial cock-fighting tourney that takes place when one is born, your middle name is the name of the second place rooster.

Marijuana - See: Snoop Dogg

Sarah Silverman - Its known that Sarah Silverman has a very large and rather puzzling gay asian following, and they all "really love that bitch."

That's it! Everything else on that list is 100% correct. Read it, and know your white folks.

6 comments:

Too Hotty said...

I've never met a gay asian who wasn't just like a white person.

Kevin said...

I have.

The ones that arr rook arike.

Anonymous said...

What the hell happened to your blog? It looks, well, different. Too generic for you

Kevin said...

I was tired of the black background and blood red font. I thought it was to obvious. Let me know if the new template it still bothers you in a week.

Flip X said...

Westernised gaysians usually have an overwhelming case of racial denial, doing our best to pretend to be white until we discover Margaret Cho. It's like gaysian Bar Mitzvah. Sadly, we still all look same. :o(

David said...

As a Jew I've always felt like an honorary white person. Just like someone with an honorary degree didn't really graduate from the school, I'm not really part of the white group, but they tolerate me because I look the part. It's like "yeah, you're white, but you ARE a Jew."

I think White-Christian is the more accurate descripter.