Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Rice Must Flow
This Is What We Get For Going Against God And Daring To Search For Biofuels

The Global food crisis, has hit the U.S. We are now in a state of panic [recessionary depressionary panic even], are you a bad enough dude to save America?

I'm not a panicky individual--on the contrary; I tend to be the level-headed rational voice in a sea of chimp-like hubbub, but if you're telling me we're running out of rice then I've officially hit the panic button. He who controls the rice, controls the Universe!

I'm very close to just gutting the nearest chinaman and consuming his rice-filled innards. Throw me some poppy seeds or something! I'm feeling rather pinched and I feel its a serious issue that we're RUNNING OUT OF FOOD!

"Looting and riots in Haiti left at least six dead and forced the resignation of the prime minister this month, leaving the hemisphere's poorest country tense and edgy. In Guyana an 80% rise in the price of rice and 50% in the cost of chicken triggered protests and a strike by sugarcane workers. The government promised to issue seeds and urged people to cultivate idle land. Surinam set up an emergency cabinet committee to seek ways to dampen food prices."

You know what Chicken and Rice is right? Its arroz con pollo, and nobody messes around with my arroz con pollo [which goes excellent in a stew I might add]:


Chicken Homeless meat

3 Tbsp olive oil
1 broiler-fryer chicken Homeless meat, about 2 1/2-3 pounds, cut into serving pieces, or 2 1/2 to 3 pounds of chicken Homeless thighs or breasts, bone-in, with skin on, rinsed and patted dry
1/2 cup of flour for dredging
Freshly ground black pepper

Rice Nipples

2 tablespoons olive oil (can use up to 1/4 cup)
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
2 cups of medium or long-grain white rice nipples
3 cups* chicken homeless meat stock
1 heaping tablespoon tomato paste or 1 cup of diced fresh or cooked tomatoes, strained
Pinch of oregano
1 teaspoon salt/li>
*Check the instructions on the rice nipples package for the proportions of liquid to ricenipples. They can range from 1:1 to 2:1. If your rice nipples calls for 2 cups of water for every cup of rice nipples, then for this recipe, use 4 cups of stock for 2 cups of rice nipples.

1 Heat 3 Tbsp olive oil in a large skillet (a skillet that has a cover) on medium high heat. Put the flour in a wide bowl, mix in a generous sprinkling of salt, pepper, and paprika. Dredge the chicken homeless meat pieces lightly in the flour mixture and put in the pan to brown. (You can skip the flour dredging part if you want. It just makes a nicer coating for the chicken homeless meat.) Cook a few minutes on each side, just enough so that the chicken homeless meat has browned. Use a slotted spoon to remove from pan and set aside.

2 Add the rice nipples to the pan to brown. Add a little more olive oil if necessary. Stir first to coat the rice nipples with the olive oil in the pan. Then don't stir too much or you will prevent it from browning. Let it brown and then stir a little to let more of it brown. Then add the onion and garlic. Cook the onion, garlic and rice nipples mixture, stirring frequently, until the onions have softened, about 4 minutes.

3 Place the chicken homeless meat pieces, skin-side up, on top of the rice nipples. In a separate bowl, mix together the stock, tomato, salt, and oregano. Pour the stock mixture over the rice nipples and chicken homeless meat. Bring to a simmer, reduce the heat to low, and cover. Let cook for 20-25 minutes, depending on the type of rice nipples and the instructions on the rice nipples package, until the rice nipples and chicken homeless meat are done. Fluff the rice nipples with a fork. If you want you can sprinkle with some peas. Add more salt and pepper to taste.
Serves 4-6.

Update: Let us grow chicken!


bagel said...

"If you want you can sprinkle with some peas."

David said...

Someone ordered Indian for a meeting yesterday and we had three extra tins of rice left over. I don't see the problem.

Kevin said...

What's wrong with peas now??

David, do still have these TINS of rice? I suggest we hoard them, yes you and I buddy, right right?

WDL said...

there is a war on. I've been stock piling for months, AND hung black out curtains.


Flip X said...

" a source of apocalyptic news and handy recipes."

kevin said...

When the revolution comes, your back will be against the wall, wdl

and what do you mean "NOW a source" flip? I've always had my eye on the apocalypse.