Thursday, June 26, 2008

Intervals
or
My Body And Me

I've started interval running exercises. You can read about that here. Basically its a way to run that makes some sort of plausible sense to me. You jog for 2 minutes, then sprint for 1, then you cool down with jogging for 2 minutes and repeat--ad nauseum--for 20-30 minutes.

Coincidentally I don't look like the guy in that lifehacker page when I run, I look more like the woman below:



...but with glasses.

This is rare for me because I don't trust people who make a living as exercising experts. They're all just like chiropractors, they have no idea how anything works, but they'll feel around for a long time until something snaps, then they just hope you think that snap made you feel better.

The truth is that all of our bodies are different. Our asses will fall out of our bodies at very different points of our lives, just for instance, and some of us will see results better doing one thing than another.

I really have no idea what my body is doing, my body and I have a very healthy and open relationship. I do my thing and I never bother it with any of my concerns, and my body does its thing and I never question it.

We sleep very comfortably in the same bed late at night though, whispering sweet loving words to each other before we pass out. The morning comes and we do our separate things, I don't question the handkerchief full of blood because I love my body and trust him to do the right thing.

Riiight.

So I'm taking it to runs with me and we've been having a time. I don't want to get fit, I just want to "not resemble Jabba the Hutt as MUCH as possible" if that makes any sense (and I used quotations so it should).

I feel that, for the first time, I'm doing the jogging thing correctly, though I'll be honest and tell only you right now that exercise never makes me feel good.

I always feel like downright shit.

I believe the people who say that they get a runner's high, or that they feel a good burn after several hours of calisthenics, but screw them if they think I'm the same way. I've never felt good after a run.

I'll tell you what makes me feel good though, and that's solving a case of Apollo Justice.

And drugs.

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