Monday, June 16, 2008

Late Father's Day
Absenteedom Breeds Contempt

I could sit here and tell you that I've been hopelessly and manically (oh sorry I meant maniacally) depressed, suffering from the late twenties gay man ennui--a non-menstrual sort of stress disorder--a feeling that nothing will ever change, for better or worse...

The reality, of course, is that I just got terribly lazy.

Its in my genes!

I know I'm late for Father's day, but so is my father, so I guess you can say it runs in the family. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my dad recently, mainly because he's called me around 40 times since February and I've let all of those calls go to voicemail.

Why are we so hard on absentee fathers? As if raising a child between one man and one woman was the ideal...the ideal for what exactly? What sort of measuring stick do we use for the raising of an ideal child?

What if, not unlike bonobo chimps (who are all sluts), thousands and millions of years of Evolution has led the ideal current climate for raising a child. The one where a dad makes a baby with a mom, and then the dad leaves?

Female praying mantis' eat the heads of their mates and I don't hear anyone complaining about the practice the way we chide our absentee fathers.

Is it irresponsible to abandon your child? My mother and father managed somehow to come to a breeder agreement, he impregnated her, left, and she retreated to a coven of women and brother to raise me. What exactly is irresponsibility in the face of genetics and evolution? Not a blip I think.

Dad of course has to deal with the other side of the coin. Now that he's suffering from whatever macho mid-life crisis he's in that compelled him to contact me after all these years; I don't have any particular urge to talk to him, which is an urge I probably get from my mother's side of the family.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first try to breed.


David said...

Oh! You wiffed on a perfect opportunity to rhyme!

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first endeavor to CONCEIVE" would have scanned so much better.

Kevin said...

My second choice was actually "Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first try to fuck the vajeeeeen." I think that one was stronger, but there's always the edit button you know?

Ana said...

Pinche Chillon.

Kevin said...

Hey I heard that!