Monday, July 07, 2008

Straight Pride Parade
Reaggae Music Is Shit

I couldn't let this bit of news regarding the Straight Pride Parade pass by without a bit of commentary.

First of all, Reggae music is about the worst for of self-expression known to man. Its given birth to abortion after abortion of demented shit like Reaggaeton.

I'll reveal to you now why Reggae music is the worst music known to man (and I'm including animal noises as music).

Reggae music is concerned with two things, smoking weed, and hating homosexuals. Why do you think that is? I wonder...what happens when you smoke weed?

Maybe your inhibitions lower? Perhaps you give in to your curiosity a bit? People who don't think homophobes are secret homosexuals are usually homophobes themselves, or at least clueless to the way people work.

Why would an entire culture focus so intently on homosexuality? To focus on something so passionately--after all--is to obsess over it. Like all obsessive passions, it is an addiction, an intense form of self-denial housed in a hard shell of hate that sounds like a million cats strung together.

African American rappers, stereotypically derided as the most homophobic in our country, don't go anywhere near the scary obsessive levels that Reggae singers do (and I use the term singer very loosely here...wizard sleeve loosely).

Do I think we should ban Reggae? No, not at all, quite the opposite actually, I wish all Americans were force-fed Reggae 24/7 through their iPods for a week just to make clear how utterly base this stuff is.

Eat my ass Reggae, you smelly violent savage...cock...suckers!


David said...

But how to you really feel?

GrooveTheory said...

Ok. First. I love what you wrote. And you know I don't normally say that to you ;) But the funny part is -- and don't get offended, I thought I was reading Jase's blog. HAHA! I was reading it from Bloglines, so I got confused uh-kay! I was like, "Wow! Jase is really passionate about this.". "Wow! Jase sounds like Kevin!". I swear to God, the last one was so true! I'm still cracking up here! But I really do love you for blogging about this.

Kevin said...

Why you!

Don't worry groove, if I found this on Jase' blog I'd be scared too. Thanks for the compliments....its nice to feel WANTED SOMETIMES!!