Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Salmon of Doubt
AIM Gets Fishy

The Bible got one thing and only one thing right.

Pride is a sin.

It's surprising to me how many people are so proud about not using Instant Messenger, "Oh don't like talking on it at all, I'm never on there, that stuff is beneath me."

Bullshit, you just don't know how to use it, now get online if you want to communicate with me because I'm sure as shit not going to call your "land-line," Christ and his Jew murderers don't even know what that is.

I digress. I use Instant Messaging quite a bit, so it wasn't surprising to me that a stranger IMed me this morning asking me a bizarre off the wall question. I was getting ready for work so I answered the question and asked who was speaking.

The other person replied by asking who I was, I told them I was Kevin, and they introduced themselves as "fuck face."

At this point I would be naturally inclined to think that this is some poor rejected stalker from my past; sharp splinters from the many wooden bridges I have laid waste to with my torch....of neglect?

I run out of the apartment, hours later, I come back home and I notice a message from a "Wussytrout" asking me if I lied to my children today.

Kevin: I don't have children )
Kevin: who is this?
Wussytrout: who are you?
Kevin: kevin
Kevin: who are you?
Wussytrout: Keviiiiiiiiiiiiin…? from PSU?
Kevin: nope
Kevin: why would you message someone you don't know
Wussytrout: I didn't
Wussytrout: you sent me a message

Odd...this is a new experience, I think.

Wussytrout: are you a bot or something?
Kevin: no i'm not a bot, i'm a real guy
Kevin: weird
Wussytrout: hah!
Wussytrout: here we go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheGreatHatsby
Wussytrout: your screen name appears as "Wussytrout:"

Which is like the police tracking the frantic babysitter stalker's phone calls and telling the sitter that the calls are coming from inside the house....and on the phone she's on at that moment, so the stalker must be her.

A little bit more, "huh?" than outright horror.

I read through the wikipedia link "wussytrout" provided and found that there are bizarre AIM bots that are pairing up strangers over AIM, masking both of their screen names under a fish deriative (i.e. 'somethingTROUT' or 'somethingSALMON') and having them engage in pointless conversation that is started by a single nonsensical question sent to both parties.

If this is some person's idea of meme art then I will personally lead the mob to burn down the Louvre tomorrow.


David said...

Why would you ever answer an IM from someone you don't know? I delete them all immediately.

Kevin said...

Stalkers provide 40% of my online entertainment.