Thursday, September 04, 2008

Your Mother the Pinhead Failure
or
Alaskan Breeding Rituals Include Shooting Wolves from Space

"Trollop cunt"* - John McCain
*Caption Unrelated


I recently came across a gem of a letter here about a teen mother distraught that her contemporaries were judging her for giving birth at a young age and keeping the child.

The response from Prudence is a nice one, but it isn't the truth, and here is my job to deliver such truth.

Dear Juno, you are not being judged. The tsk-tsk head shaking we fine upstanding moral people give you is one of empathy for your situation; no, not the one involving your relationship with your loving child, but the one involving your mother.

You see, an underage teen girl is a sign of parental failure. In short, your mother is a pinhead.

And let us stop pretending that this is not the case with Palin. It is a tiring charade for the nation's intelligentsia to continue to pretend that having a pregnant teen daughter is anything short of an indication of how horrid you are at leading a life, much less a nation, I don't care how wild Alaska is...

And another thing, last time I checked, Alaska wasn't Mississippi, ok? Are we now resorting to giving birth to caribou babies and eating human flesh up there?

Hardly.

Bitch, your daughter got KNOCKED UP, it wasn't some bizarre Alaskan/Mormon ritual, ok? You aren't living in the swamplands with an Innuit husband and a mammy who doesn't know how to go about "birthin' no babies."

I know for a fact that Alaska is all jetskis and shooting wolves from space,and now I'm supposed to pretend that little Sally Rottencrotch took the local eskimo to the local igloo prom and got seduced by his ancient breeding dance?

Hardly, again.

So in conclusion, you're an unwed pregnant teen, damn its tough, I'm with you, but your mother is still a fucktard, let's try to move on.

Further experiences:

-Advice for young mother's to be, we feel for you, we love you, we hate your mom too.

-Don't go chasing waterfalls too bad the rivers in Alaska are frozen.

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