Thursday, October 30, 2008

An Important Message from Deviant
Always Bet On Black

I'd like to announce that today--this evening of the 30th October, 2008--I am officially endorsing Barack Hussein Obama III Esquire Jr. to become the 69th(ed. note- look into this) president of the United States of America Emeritus, and I also endorse him to be the Prime Minister of Awesomness in the upper left hemisphere of this earth.

What follows now are the reasons for my hesitation on Obama:

Hillary was my bitch ok? She rocks, she is pro-gay. She can say shit that is semi-anti gay to audiences in order to appeal to the fanatics, but her record showed that she was just blowing smoke up their ass-ho's. Obama, I felt, didn't have that same reputation. When he said marriage was between a man and a woman, I wasn't sure whether he meant it or not because he lacked that whore-anus gay reputation, right?

Let's be honest, when was the last time he marched in a New York gay pride parade? Never. Hillary was out there freaking with trannies in her pant suit.

Second: FISA

Obama was all about hope and change, but he voted for FISA and he was pro-giving Bush immunity. Ugh, at the time I thought it was such a hypocritical move. You can't run an ad campaign against politics as usual and then VOTE EXACTLY FOR politics as usual. Many Obama supporters scratch their head at this, but let's go on.

Third: He talked shit about video games.

Don't hate on Pac-Man

What follows now are the reasons and clarifications why my position has changed.

1) Obama is a total fag. First off, that nigga can dance. And its ok that I used the mild version of the N word because I am taking that word back, just like I'm taking back the term Chink Cunt Faggot, because I am all three.

But anyway, I get the vibe from Obama that he's just a cool operator, so I'm not wary of him anymore, let's move on.

2) FISA, and also his support of the bailout, it really does show me that he can reach across party lines while still staying on-target in his message. I say that because I saw his 30 Minute Infomercial and he stays on target with his liberal message, which makes me think that the preceding two judgement calls of his were wink-wink-nudge-nudge sort of deals...something that Hillary would do that signaled political saavy. I like that.

3) He's the first candidate to have bought ad space within a video game, yet more of a sign of political saavy.

For me, the most important thing a candidate can display is a mastery of compromise. The fluidity in which a person can say one thing and mean another is understated, but it is also a very important cue for the American public.

Obama has this gift, and he's the right man for the job.

And so...I proudly wore my free Obama pin on the lapel of my very expensive winter coat that I wore today. And as a closing statement....Huck Falloween.



im'mature said...

I think you should do Halloween in blackface as a sign of support. *nods*

PS - Additional reason to vote Obama: Guest spot on "The Daily Show".

Too Hotty said...

Don't you mean 'Spic Cunt Faggot'?

David said...

Halloween is my bitch.