I took care of two kittens this weekend in Brooklyn.
One is female, the other male, I keep forgetting their names so I simply referred to the female as "whore," and the male as "my favorite one." They seemed to respond well to that.
Despite the fact that I am allergic to cat hair, I took a strong liking to the pair. Just because I'm allergic to you, doesn't mean that I necessarily dislike you.
We three were having an Amityville Horror movie marathon (my favorite ones are the straight to DVD ones), when the male kitten decided that my earlobe was a tit that he wanted to suckle on.
He climbed on top of me and proceeded to suckle on my earlobe like it was his mom's tit and I swatted him away the first few times he did it, then I giggled because it tickled, then I just let him suckle on my earlobe because it seemed to make him happy.
I figure that the kitten doing the sucking is the weirdo, and I'm perfectly fine because I'm getting sucked, which clearly makes me the man and not at all the one with the gay beastiality thing going on.
That would just be weird.