Monday, March 02, 2009

All 3-D Tech Sluts!
When I Think About You iTouch Myself

So apparently they now make gay porn at in 3d [nsfw], meaning you can jerk off and look like Biff's henchmen in back to the future.

This is courtesy of Fly G who I hung out with on Saturday. After having around 7 screwdrivers for brunch with him he mentioned that he wanted to go to the Apple Store. "I'll go with you," I said, "but you have to promise me that whatever happens you won't let me buy anything, ok?"

He agreed and we were in the Apple store for about 5 minutes when Fly G noticed that I was eyeing a $300 iPod Touch.

"Oh you should get this," he squawked, "it looks niiiice, let me see your old iPod? Oh look at this junk, you really need this new one. I can get you a 10% discount, so its practically tax free. You can probably write this off, just show me the tax forms, I swear I can do it."

We drunkenly attacked separate Apple employees ("you take the one in the orange I'll take the one in the blue!") we finally settled on some fat girl. Fly G pretended we were a couple with a joint bank account so that they wouldn't question him using my card with his discount.

Yes his paranoia levels are high after drinks.

I physically felt the loss of $300 somewhere in my gut, but was reassured by Fly G that I could just return the thing if I was unhappy about it the next day (this entry is brought to you by Classical South Florida WXCP 89.7 now streaming from my 3 day old iPod purchase, thank you very much).

A coworker of mine said it was an investment, and I like that, it makes me feel considerably LESS stupid and by golly you can never have enough proof that you aren't stupid.

Fly G tried to get me to go to an underwear party!

G-unit asked me how I could go to an underwear would-be sex party with a friend.

"He said we would just go to the far ends of the room"

"Fair enough," G-unit said.

I went to the bar beforehand, even took the train ride out there, but naaaah man, of course I backed out at the last second.

I saw Eyes Wide Shut I know what goes on there



Anonymous said...

sex parties with friends an be fun!

Kevin said...

Thanks I'll try it next time maybe after I lose a few pounds!