Monday, March 30, 2009

Family Feud
Nucular New York Meltdown

I'm bummed and beat. I found out today that my cousin who was visiting from Los Angeles was going to bring her on-again-off again boyfriend with her to NY to come visit me.

I was ok with that until my mother called me and informed me that my cousin came home one night with a broken arm, from him....

Excuse me, what? Listen she's 18 years old, she's a grown ass woman, and if you want to be in a relationship with a tiny and poorer Chris Brown then its your business, but you aren't bringing that mess to my place.

And so I did the big brotherly thing to do, which was to text her and tell her that she better arrive to NY alone because if she came with this BOY then I'd leave him at the airport.

What pisses me off is that she was being coy about the particulars of her visit. First she was bringing "a friend" then it turned out to be this boy...then my mom has to fill me on crazy drama-filled details.

I told her "listen, you can lie to your old folks all the time. I used to lie like a motherfucker back in my day, but you CANNOT lie to me because I was 18 not too long ago and I've all but murdered a man in cold blood! God damnit."

Well I didn't text that because it would have been a huge long text



David said...

Just how long ago is "not too long ago?"

kevin said...

Oh about .5 scores ago? I'm not sure, I haven't been kept abreast of my family's doings.