Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The Problem With E.T.

E.T. the Extra Terrestrial is an instantly unlikeable movie. I've tried watching the movie in its entirety several times but I've never made it through.

I thought there was something wrong with me but I caught it again on TV this weekend when I was sick home with swine flu and I figured out that its really the movie's fault.

ET has the single most horrible beginning of any movie ever.

The movie starts in a darkly lit film studio that doubles as a "dimly lit forest" that is so fake that its uninteresting. There are loving shots of fake trees and fake grass and there are silhouetted aliens that look on to a panorama of a city that is actually a green screen-like effect. The alien silhouettes are chased down by other human silhouette throughout the film studio. A ship flies away and all we see are....silhouettes!

And THEN we get introduced to our first real characters of the film, the first non-silhouettes, humans with speaking parts, people we can identify with.....and it turns out that these characters are the MOST ANNOYING KIDS EVER PLACED ON FILM. They're playing poker, smoking, and talking in knowing adult dialogue. There's nothing natural about them and by this point I want to change the channel in disgust.

I'm sorry but I don't care if this movie is old. Jaws is old and it has a kick ass opening. This shit sucks!

-Deviant

1 comment:

David said...

One of my all time favorites. I cry every time I watch it.