Monday, May 24, 2010

I Hate Facebook
I'm Only Staying For The Invites

I'd done everything correctly.

After every major update to facebook I diligently researched the changes and clicked off the correct privacy flaws in my newly vulnerable facebook page. When statuses were made public I switched them off, when galleries were made individually public I individually made them private. It was like a swapping of virtual flies in cyberspace.

And yet I watched my newsfeed with stupefied curiosity. A friend of mine in LA had invaded with farmville. Farmville animal requests were sent, and I blocked them, but then they would still appear on my facebook reader like rats to a barn.

The Lost finale happened and my feed was filled with posts from my less than scholarly batch of friends. I maintain that Lost is a show for people who are deprived of good narratives. One Lost fan told me he rarely read fiction, well of course you don't, I thought, you watch Lost!

"Look have you seen this?" Fly G said as he showed me his iPhone. "It's PhoneSquare! I can sign into any place and it let's everyone on my facebook wall know."

"I think that's called FourSquare," I corrected, "and yes I've heard of it. Why would you want people knowing you aren't at home anyways?"
"Well, it's no different than if you update your status saying you're out somewhere."
"No, I could be lying or talking about an event in the past tense. With that program you are telling everyone that you are most definitely not at home at this very moment."

I watched my newsfeed and I made the personal realization that I did not give a shit for the majority of the drivel that was being posted by the alarmingly large amount of derivative people I had friended. Song lyrics there were, and someone posted about how they hated life and how they were sore.

And then there was bloating, headaches, nauseau, I was surprised to see no mentions of fluids leaking, but that was implied, and these were people my age!

It was always inane, but we had now reached new heights of inanity, and so I no longer clicked off privacy settings, I started to delete. I deleted my fan pages, and some friends, I deleted the people who just linger and don't say anything, and I deleted the ones who overshare.

The oversharing on facebook made me start to dislike people, and maybe it was because they'd lost some of their mystery. I knew what new people were thinking about, and what they were thinking about numbed the mind.

And the other part was that I do believe we were talking less. Facebook is taking our innocent instinct to overshare and turning it into something ugly. We were being sold off to advertisers and losing the bonds of intimate communication.

Not cool.

I can't delete my profile though because I still get invites to parties on there.

Meanwhile, twitter is where it's at. I have moved on enthusiastically to tweeting and the reason is two-fold:

1) It makes no bones about being full of crap.

2) I have heard lots more "I saw what you wrote on twitter" than "I saw what you wrote on facebook." It seems like people who read twitter are more open to actual conversations about what you wrote than people who are reading facebook, at least in my world.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tweet about Celebrity Rehab, now available on Netflix instant streaming!


1 comment:

[ im'mature ] said...

Oh, you latte-sipping social media elitist, you. :o)

The stuff on Twitter is marginally less retarded, but the unbearable sense of smugness and some of the pseudo-intellectual wank that floats through that platform...ugh.

Maybe it's time to come to terms with the fact that the lowest common denominator will always be with us, no matter what the format. :o\